Uhm, niceness?

[Pentecost]

First I don't see how one could practice the two passages and not be respectful. I guess I would say that you can show respect without being loving towards the person. Simple example, I am respectful (patient, kind, gentle, and self-controlled) to my co-workers but I would be hesitant to say I love them.

That's a very good point. I know I would say that you practice love doing all those things, and I think for me I would say that if those are ways that you can love someone then by doing them you are loving them.

Somehow I think loving someone requires some degree of experience with them including their "bad / unlovable" features. God loves us despite knowing who we are. I don't know that on a social board like this you could really get to know anyone well enough to say you really know them. Certainly the news is full of people who got deceived on-line in that when they met they found the other was nothing like what the on-line posts would say.

It's true you cannot really know someone over a message board like this, but can you really know anyone? Not their heart only God can, but we can see the fruit they produce in the context that we know them in. I do not think you have to have experience to love someone, I think it is not an uncommon experience to love someone you find out is related to you, I know of cousins who I've never met before that I will "treat like family" the first time I've met them. A more common example is when a parent sees their child for the first time, I am not a parent but I have heard that it is the natural reaction to love the infant.

Maybe I do define love to too high a standard. Probably because the word has become so overused that it is more meaningless. (I am suddenly curious to know when saying "I love my car" became acceptable speech.) Yes, I'm not really sure anyone on T-Web can really say they love me because my full person is not visible to them. Yes in face-to-face relationships, one can hide parts of themselves. However its harder to do because in face-to-face, you get all the visual and aural cues that are missing in a post.

Yes, love is over used, people use "love" to mean "I have an emotional attachment" or even "I appreciate this thing" neither of which are right to me, and I think we agree on being able to be duplicitous in how we reveal ourselves, but actions are more important than emotions. If you say you care then do nothing, you've given away the lie.

Respect can be given immediately to someone. Most people respect the stranger they met on the street, the clerk in the store, the receptionist, the policeman, etc. The same applies to an on-line post. I try to respect the poster and respond assuming they meant well. If I can't, I've learned to walk away from the post rather than respond.

I think this is a wise way to act. For me I just walk away for a day or two from the thread and respond when I have a fresh perspective and am less emotionally invested.

Bottom line: while not mentioned in the two passages, I hold respect is present because you can't practice those virtues and not have respect. So when you say people don't love when they respond to posts and I say people don't respect, it comes down to the same thing. People are not relating to others as God desires and therefore they have sinned against the other person and God.

Agreed.

Hey, if you must call your own statement irrelevant


No, dumbass, it's you claiming that you've addressed all I said when you haven't.

Then treat me like I'm trying to learn instead of an enemy. Because I have no idea what you're on about.

[Thoughtful Monk]

That's a very good point. I know I would say that you practice love doing all those things, and I think for me I would say that if those are ways that you can love someone then by doing them you are loving them.

Yes, love is over used, people use "love" to mean "I have an emotional attachment" or even "I appreciate this thing" neither of which are right to me, and I think we agree on being able to be duplicitous in how we reveal ourselves, but actions are more important than emotions. If you say you care then do nothing, you've given away the lie.

Let's try this. If one defines love as wanting others to be saved; to be built up in their faith, supported with their daily burdens, cried with, rejoiced with, etc. then you might call me loving. Just don't expect a lot of emotion.

I think the Bible presents love mostly as a motivator to action than an emotion. The best example is John 3:16 "For God so loved the world (describing the motivation) that He sent His only Son" (describing the action that results from the emotion). God loves but it does not stop at an emotion. God's love expresses itself in action. Both in 1 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 5, the virtues are practiced in relationship to other people. If you can't express love (not the emotion but the desire to see the other bettered, aided) then you don't have love.

I will agree that there are situations where it is not possible to act to help. We can always pray. However I feel too many Christians pray and then go on their way. Maybe they give money to a charity. Both of these are good starts to learning to love one another. Yet I think if that is all one does, they may not be growing in Christ.

I think we're also agreed that as Christians we have to recognize that love means something different than how the world uses the world (including how the world's love almost always means Eros love.) Our love means we want the world to come into relationship with God, grow in that relationship with God, and be supported in their daily trials. So sermons on love are incomplete as they tend to call us to love one another without then saying go and do something.

[Pentecost]

Let's try this. If one defines love as wanting others to be saved; to be built up in their faith, supported with their daily burdens, cried with, rejoiced with, etc. then you might call me loving. Just don't expect a lot of emotion.

Okay, that's how I meant it.

I think the Bible presents love mostly as a motivator to action than an emotion. The best example is John 3:16 "For God so loved the world (describing the motivation) that He sent His only Son" (describing the action that results from the emotion). God loves but it does not stop at an emotion. God's love expresses itself in action. Both in 1 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 5, the virtues are practiced in relationship to other people. If you can't express love (not the emotion but the desire to see the other bettered, aided) then you don't have love.

Agreed.

I will agree that there are situations where it is not possible to act to help. We can always pray. However I feel too many Christians pray and then go on their way. Maybe they give money to a charity. Both of these are good starts to learning to love one another. Yet I think if that is all one does, they may not be growing in Christ.

If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? (*James *2:*15-16 ESV)

It seems to me that neither intellectual assent, nor emotions are particularly important to either faith or love.

I think we're also agreed that as Christians we have to recognize that love means something different than how the world uses the world (including how the world's love almost always means Eros love.) Our love means we want the world to come into relationship with God, grow in that relationship with God, and be supported in their daily trials. So sermons on love are incomplete as they tend to call us to love one another without then saying go and do something.

You're right, we do agree on this. :)

[Catholicity]

No, dumbass, it's you claiming that you've addressed all I said when you haven't.

So not only did you make a failed assertion that he did not address your claim but you called one of the easy going folks on tweb a dumbass. You know Pap, you've made your idiocy well known. You aren't out to be nice, you just want to fight. Go do it somewhere else.

[Paprika]

So not only did you make a failed assertion that he did not address your claim but you called one of the easy going folks on tweb a dumbass. You know Pap, you've made your idiocy well known. You aren't out to be nice, you just want to fight. Go do it somewhere else.

Ask nicely, and it may happen.

[Thoughtful Monk]

You're right, we do agree on this. :)

Agreement in a TWEB thread????

Seriously, we started from different places and came to agreement. Trying to remember what the OP was: I started from honor and you started from love and we arrived at its love (as the Bible would define it) but not excluding honor. Not that we solved the problem of why people aren't nice on internet posts. We agree its wrong to do.

I think we're done with this topic. Thanks, Pentecost, this has been an enjoyable and beneficial discussion for me.

[Pentecost]

Agreement in a TWEB thread????

Haha! Amazing! I never thought I'd see the day! :)

Seriously, we started from different places and came to agreement. Trying to remember what the OP was: I started from honor and you started from love and we arrived at its love (as the Bible would define it) but not excluding honor. Not that we solved the problem of why people aren't nice on internet posts. We agree its wrong to do.

I think we're done with this topic. Thanks, Pentecost, this has been an enjoyable and beneficial discussion for me.

Yeah TM, it was a pleasure speaking with you! I hope your Christmas was good, and have a happy New Year!

Ask nicely, and it may happen.

Probably not since you apparently think we're all too nice anyways...? *sigh* But then I still have no idea what you're on about...


@Cath, thanks for calling me easy going. It's something I make a conscious effort about.

[Paprika]

Probably not since you apparently think we're all too nice anyways...?

Nah, just pointing out the irony of Catholicity's attempt at nastiness.

*sigh* But then I still have no idea what you're on about...

You haven't shown any signs of being able to comprehend, so I choose not to waste my time.

[Cow Poke]

You haven't shown any signs of being able to comprehend, so I choose not to waste my time.

I think it's so cute when you respond by indicating you're not going to respond, or it's not worth your time, or a response is not warranted.

[OU812]

I think it's so cute when you respond by indicating you're not going to respond, or it's not worth your time, or a response is not warranted.

Col. Jessup says you have to ask him nicely.

[Cow Poke]

Col. Jessup says "you gotta ask him nicely".

Laughing... Yup... that was one of my favorite lines.

Ooooops... added the video, but it included some bad language

[Paprika]

I think it's so cute when you respond by indicating you're not going to respond, or it's not worth your time, or a response is not warranted.

I respond to say I'm not going to continue discussion on a specific issue.

But it's okay, your asinine remarks have a cuteness of their own.

[Cow Poke]

I respond to say I'm not going to continue discussion on a specific issue.

But it's okay, your asinine remarks have a cuteness of their own.

Ya know, instead of responding by saying the comment doesn't deserve a response, you COULD actually just not respond.


Well, YOU couldn't.

(I think it's that 'root of bitterness' thing.)

[Paprika]

Ya know, instead of responding by saying the comment doesn't deserve a response

Idiot. I said no such thing.

[Sparko]

(I think it's that 'root of bitterness' thing.)

Does anyone get along with Paprika? He seems to dislike everyone on tweb.