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Uhm, niceness?

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  • Uhm, niceness?

    Now, I know good=/=nice and nice=/=Christian but not naming names there is a startling large segment of Christians on this site (I've rarely met Christians in real life I have this issue with) who apparently don't give the benefit of the doubt to someone or I'll agree with someone's sentiment, but the words they use make me question where the love is. Still not naming names but do others agree to this general sentiment? Or am I a proverbial wuss? :P

    I wouldn't think it's because we're a theology site, but if it because of that is it because it is a subject that attracts more arrogant people?

    Again, I really am not asking for names that would be very inappropriate; the question basically boils down to is "niceness" a component of love? Are we under doing it? Are we even over emphasizing it?
    Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith? -Galatians 3:5

  • #2
    Originally posted by Pentecost View Post
    Now, I know good=/=nice and nice=/=Christian but not naming names there is a startling large segment of Christians on this site (I've rarely met Christians in real life I have this issue with) who apparently don't give the benefit of the doubt to someone or I'll agree with someone's sentiment, but the words they use make me question where the love is. Still not naming names but do others agree to this general sentiment? Or am I a proverbial wuss? :P

    I wouldn't think it's because we're a theology site, but if it because of that is it because it is a subject that attracts more arrogant people?

    Again, I really am not asking for names that would be very inappropriate; the question basically boils down to is "niceness" a component of love? Are we under doing it? Are we even over emphasizing it?
    Goodness and gentleness are fruits of the spirit so if somebody is clearly sincere (which would except the Pharisees Jesus came on hard on) and not trying to lead people away from Christ (which would except many of the people attacked in the NT) then I think it is inappropriate to come on hard down on them. Having said that, I fear that many of the people who try to be quick to follow their leads by citing the appropriateness of such rhetoric in that culture don't account for the fact that it does not go over as well in our culture.
    "I am not angered that the Moral Majority boys campaign against abortion. I am angry when the same men who say, "Save OUR children" bellow "Build more and bigger bombers." That's right! Blast the children in other nations into eternity, or limbless misery as they lay crippled from "OUR" bombers! This does not jell." - Leonard Ravenhill

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Pentecost View Post
      Still not naming names but do others agree to this general sentiment? Or am I a proverbial wuss? :P
      Yes.

      I wouldn't think it's because we're a theology site, but if it because of that is it because it is a subject that attracts more arrogant people?
      Knowledge puffs up

      Again, I really am not asking for names that would be very inappropriate; the question basically boils down to is "niceness" a component of love? Are we under doing it? Are we even over emphasizing it?
      It would be helpful if you could define "niceness". Does it include never disturbing peoples' feels?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by KingsGambit View Post
        Having said that, I fear that many of the people who try to be quick to follow their leads by citing the appropriateness of such rhetoric in that culture don't account for the fact that it does not go over as well in our culture.
        Sure it does. Why do you think the Daily Show is so popular?
        "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths." Isaiah 3:12

        There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.

        Comment


        • #5
          First of all, without facial expressions, body language, etc, it's often hard to see if someone is joking or half way joking/teasing. Then there are some that are jerks, others that will respond with kind words no matter what is hurled at them. Then there are those that will respond to you the way you do to them. Politics, and religion/theology are closely held beliefs and discussion of them can get fractious and heated. We try not to be a tightly controlled, overly moderated board...and we do not enforce politeness. IOW, being a jerk isn't against the rules. After you learn who those are, you learn to take them with the proverbial grain of salt...

          Hope that helps!

          LJ
          Tweb Moderator
          "What has the Church gained if it is popular, but there is no conviction, no repentance, no power?" - A.W. Tozer

          "... there are two parties in Washington, the stupid party and the evil party, who occasionally get together and do something both stupid and evil, and this is called bipartisanship." - Everett Dirksen

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          • #6
            We are always to exhibit love, but that doesn't mean that we are never to point out error when we see it. Jesus was surely angry when He made a whip and drove the moneychangers out of the temple. He didn't ask nicely, and he didn't pull any punches when he pointed out the error of the religious leaders of His time.

            There is love, and there is lovingly allowing others to head onto the wide path that leads to destruction because we don't want to offend anybody.

            I am not sure if that is what you are referring to here, and others have addressed the "niceness or not" on this site. I am looking at it purely as behaviour lined up with God's own sense of desiring His word to be taught properly and fully, and calling sin what it is, and error what it is.
            Last edited by mossrose; 12-17-2014, 05:05 PM.


            Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

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            • #7
              "Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Darth Executor View Post
                Sure it does. Why do you think the Daily Show is so popular?
                Believe it or not, I've never watched it.
                "I am not angered that the Moral Majority boys campaign against abortion. I am angry when the same men who say, "Save OUR children" bellow "Build more and bigger bombers." That's right! Blast the children in other nations into eternity, or limbless misery as they lay crippled from "OUR" bombers! This does not jell." - Leonard Ravenhill

                Comment


                • #9
                  Pentecost has kindly allowed me to post here. Because he's ... Nice. I'm a big fan of 'niceness' or civility. I think the fruit of the Spirit ought to be the constant undertone of Christian expression. Mine too. I know there are times when people need to be challenged, but underlying that challenge and harsh words ought to be concern for the individual.

                  Many of us justify the bad aspects of our character with theological mumbo jumbo. The very last people who ought to abrasive styles in dialogue are those who enjoy it. It's tooneasy for them to go too far.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Littlejoe View Post
                    First of all, without facial expressions, body language, etc, it's often hard to see if someone is joking or half way joking/teasing. Then there are some that are jerks, others that will respond with kind words no matter what is hurled at them. Then there are those that will respond to you the way you do to them. Politics, and religion/theology are closely held beliefs and discussion of them can get fractious and heated. We try not to be a tightly controlled, overly moderated board...and we do not enforce politeness. IOW, being a jerk isn't against the rules. After you learn who those are, you learn to take them with the proverbial grain of salt...

                    Hope that helps!

                    LJ
                    Tweb Moderator
                    Yes sir, and I do not think that "kindness" or lack thereof should be moderated, this was certainly not an attack towards the administrators, just a conversation that I thought would kick up discussion and best case scenario bring some introspection.

                    Originally posted by Paprika View Post
                    Yes.


                    Knowledge puffs up


                    It would be helpful if you could define "niceness". Does it include never disturbing peoples' feels?
                    The usual definition of "pleasant; or agreeable" suits well, or a sort of polite kindness was how I was meaning it, but it works just as well if we just used it as a synonym for "kindness" instead. As KG pointed out Jesus was not always nice and as I said Christianity does not mean necessarily being good. Love, patience, kindness, goodness, are all things that can be perceived as nice. But love requires the truth, patience must have a reason, good once again as I said does not equal nice. Kind... Kind of does mean nice.

                    Ms. mossy, I was thinking about how some people don't pull their punches, and indeed Christ Himself did things not always "nice" but certainly loving. But I have seen some backhanded compliments used in situations clearly not among friends, I am not particularly against calling a spade a spade or a brood of vipers a brood of vipers, but I do think it is important to present oneself with dignity.

                    If people recall I called FarEastBird out in a thread naming him unorthodox when he still claimed "Christian" I was not as kind as I think I should have been and people should be corrected in error, but there are often times other ways to do it. I do not regret confronting him, but I do regret how I did it.

                    I have heard it taught in John 11 by Timothy Keller that Jesus was stern with Martha when confronted with Lazarus's death a but cried with Mary when confronted by her, Jesus reacts differently to two sisters in the same situation In two radically different ways. Being stern all the time is inappropriate and comisurating all the time is inappropriate.

                    Pancreasman asked my permission to participate, and if the mods are fine with it I would welcome him.
                    Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith? -Galatians 3:5

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Pentecost View Post
                      Now, I know good=/=nice and nice=/=Christian but not naming names there is a startling large segment of Christians on this site (I've rarely met Christians in real life I have this issue with) who apparently don't give the benefit of the doubt to someone or I'll agree with someone's sentiment, but the words they use make me question where the love is. Still not naming names but do others agree to this general sentiment? Or am I a proverbial wuss? :P

                      I wouldn't think it's because we're a theology site, but if it because of that is it because it is a subject that attracts more arrogant people?

                      Again, I really am not asking for names that would be very inappropriate; the question basically boils down to is "niceness" a component of love? Are we under doing it? Are we even over emphasizing it?
                      Yeah, this has been a constant topic of discussion and debate on this forum going as far back as I've been a member here (2005ish?). Even earlier actually. I remember reading a few thread where I think Glenn P got ganged up for bringing the topic up a couple years earlier. Honestly, from what I can tell since I've been back, I think the forum has significantly improved in this area. I think the new moderation probably has a lot to do with that, so kudos to them.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Adrift View Post
                        Honestly, from what I can tell since I've been back, I think the forum has significantly improved in this area. I think the new moderation probably has a lot to do with that, so kudos to them.
                        Funny, I've been thinking you've gotten more reasonable than before the crash. I'm thinking what changed is you rather than tweb.
                        "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths." Isaiah 3:12

                        There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Adrift View Post
                          Yeah, this has been a constant topic of discussion and debate on this forum going as far back as I've been a member here (2005ish?). Even earlier actually. I remember reading a few thread where I think Glenn P got ganged up for bringing the topic up a couple years earlier. Honestly, from what I can tell since I've been back, I think the forum has significantly improved in this area. I think the new moderation probably has a lot to do with that, so kudos to them.
                          I'm curious what he had to say about it, because I didn't know him on TWeb (wasn't on at that time), but I know him apart from this site and he's somebody I very highly respect.
                          "I am not angered that the Moral Majority boys campaign against abortion. I am angry when the same men who say, "Save OUR children" bellow "Build more and bigger bombers." That's right! Blast the children in other nations into eternity, or limbless misery as they lay crippled from "OUR" bombers! This does not jell." - Leonard Ravenhill

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            IIRC he whined about it, with the same obnoxious, overly verbose style in which he talks about everything else.
                            "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths." Isaiah 3:12

                            There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi, my name is CP

                              I need to be nicer.
                              "Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”

                              Comment

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