Marriage & Beliefs

[Darth Xena]

needs to stop treating girls as beings which primarily think.

You are a class one asshat.

[Darth Xena]

[foudroyant]

For me I preferred to date ladies from Asia or Southeast Asia who were either atheists, confused Christians or confused Buddhists.
They pretty much just go along with whatever the man says so there was never really many problems theologically or otherwise.

[The Remonstrant]

And how many unmarried women have you interacted with? *Chuckle* On another note, you definitely might want to quit drinking.

Edit: Rem, I hope you don't take the above as disregarding your plea for civil discourse. I'm just pulling Ob's leg, and I won't take it any further.

[The Remonstrant]

Thank you very much, friends, for your responses thus far. I hope to see more participation on this thread in the time to come. I see this as a very important topic and a very practical concern for believers as a whole, irrespective of whether one is a Protestant or Evangelical, Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox. It is good to learn from the perspectives of those who are married and nice to see the responses of unmarried persons as well.

[The Remonstrant]

For me I preferred to date ladies from Asia or Southeast Asia who were either atheists, confused Christians or confused Buddhists.
They pretty much just go along with whatever the man says so there was never really many problems theologically or otherwise.

Isn't a woman [who has] some conviction of her beliefs of some value to you? (Do not take this as a criticism, but more of a concern.)

Edited to added: Minor correction contained in brackets.

[The Remonstrant]

That's because most denominations these days are equally inconsequential.

Obsidian had the best post in the thread and Remonstrant needs to stop treating girls as beings which primarily think.

Thank you for the constructive criticism.

[Cow Poke]

Isn't a woman with some conviction of her beliefs of some value to you? (Do not take this as a criticism, but more of a concern.)

With all due respect, I think Foud has a rather "It's all about me" worldview. But I will be happy to be corrected on that.

[The Remonstrant]

I'd want someone who'd at least be willing to attend church with me, even if she didn't convert to Orthodoxy; I believe worshiping together is quite important, and I see the stress on couples who attend different churches. I'm flexible on anything that hasn't been dogmatically defined by the seven Ecumenical Councils. [Emphasis added.]

[The Remonstrant]

Soteriology would probably be the most important thing. Some practical issues like gender roles, political positions, and views on things like alcohol would come next. If worse came to worse, though, I would quit drinking if necessary to obtain the others. Most unmarried women these days are so warped that a man needs to take what he can get.

I am on board with you regarding sharing similar soteriological beliefs and having the same basic understanding of gender roles when considering someone as a potential marital partner. Thank you for bringing this up.

[The Remonstrant]

With all due respect, I think Foud has a rather "It's all about me" worldview. But I will be happy to be corrected on that.

I do not know much of anything about foudroyant, honestly. All I can say is that I will not be leaving for the Philippines anytime soon.

[The Remonstrant]

My wife was raised Lutheran, but her family didn't attend Church much. They were, for all intents and purposes, CEO Lutherans.

On our first date, I asked her if she knew Jesus as Savior, and we had a good talk about it. She accepted Christ, and has been going to Church with me as a Baptist for nearly 40 years. [Emphasis added.]

[The Remonstrant]

I am recently married. What was important to me was that we could discuss doctrinal issues, inerrancy, conservative theology, non-fundamentalist. The only thing I wanted complete agreement on was gender issues as well that cuts to the heart of a marriage. An egalitarian and complementation would have issues at the most relational level. [Emphasis added.]

In my personal experience, your mileage will definitely vary, since the standard evangelical position is Arminian, and even in allegedly Calvinist churches, many people don't even understand what they teach on Soteriology, any Calvinist female is going to be pretty theologically astute (not saying she is right, not saying there are not theological[ly] astute Arminian females) but to swim against the tide requires stepping out. [Emphasis added.]

I believe your basic observations are correct. It is actually quite unfortunate that many non-Calvinists (male and female) cannot even articulate their soteriological beliefs very well. In other words, they really don't know what they believe (though, of course, they understand Christ to be their Lord and Savior).

[The Remonstrant]

I'm puzzled. Nobody is perfect. Sure, draw the line somewhere. But if you want perfection, nobody would be on the good side of the line. Besides who deserves a perfect mate?

If you'll but reread the opening post more attentively the next time around, you will see that I am not hinting at any form of "perfection" in either the institution of marriage or regarding a "perfect mate" (marital partner). From whence did this misunderstanding on your part arise?

[The Remonstrant]

I still haven't officially left the Catholic Church, and believe in a great deal of the theology. King's Gambit on the other hand is an Arminian/American Baptist. I want to have the new baby baptized, we're debating it. So what? Its not the hill we're going to die on. I believe in soul immortatiliy [sic] either heaven or hell, he's an annihilationist. He's not hung up on innerrancy, I believe in something in between. I wouldn't have cared if he was a calvinist. You know why? We're both Christians, we both have a real firmly founded belief in the Word of God. That's important. That's what counts. We have some lively discussions. And neither one of us has to agree with the other on any non essential doctrine. We're Ecumenical. The Essential Part of Christianity comes with Believing in Christ's Life Death and Ressurrection [sic] and baptising. on that we agree. There are other things that are more important.... Like Raising children, having common goals, helping one another get to heaven. etc.

Thank you for expressing your views. I would agree that whether one is a genuine Christian (i.e., a believer in Jesus Christ) is crucial in the marriage arrangement. You have forthrightly raised the issue of ecumenism and I thank you for it, as that is definitely a major topic for discussion. That said, I will refrain from any criticism on this thread.