Jokes

[37818]

Do you know why blondes created dumb blonde jokes?











































































So brunette have something to do.

[Jude]

Sign in shoe repair shop: We don't preach but we save soles.

[Cow Poke]

Speaking of rabbits...

How do you catch a unique rabbit?


Unique up on him!

How do you catch the EtherBunny?


With an Ethernet!

[Jude]

So, this horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

[Jude]

How do you catch the EtherBunny?


With an Ethernet!

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.

[Cerebrum123]

How do you catch the EtherBunny?


With an Ethernet!

It came with another card, but you mean this guy right?

[Jedidiah]

Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy standing on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to him and punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl . . . not on my watch.

[Jude]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are on a weekend camping trip. After sharing perhaps a little too much liquid refreshments on Friday evening, they settle in to sleep. Early in the morning hours, Holmes elbows Watson and says, "Watson, look up, what do you see?" Watson replies, "I see stars and more stars." Holmes agrees, "And what does that tell you, Watson?" "Well,"" says Watson, "Astronomically it tells me that there are billions and billions of stars. Multiple galaxies." "Meteorologically it tells me that tomorrow will be a clear and sunny day." "Astrologically I see that Jupiter is in Saturn." and "Theologically it tells me that man is just an infinitesimal speck amid a vast and wondrous creation." What, does it tell you, Sherlock?"

Sherlock replies, "Holmes you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!!"

[Teallaura]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are on a weekend camping trip. After sharing perhaps a little too much liquid refreshments on Friday evening, they settle in to sleep. Early in the morning hours, Holmes elbows Watson and says, "Watson, look up, what do you see?" Watson replies, "I see stars and more stars." Holmes agrees, "And what does that tell you, Watson?" "Well," says Watson, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are billions and billions of stars. Multiple galaxies. Meteorologically, it tells me that tomorrow will be a clear and sunny day. Astrologically, I see that Jupiter is in Saturn, and theologically, it tells me that man is just an infinitesimal speck amid a vast and wondrous creation. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Sherlock replies, "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!!"

fixed it for ya...

[rogue06]

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left home for college?




































Bison.

[Jude]

fixed it for ya...

Thank you friend!!!
It's SO much better when told properly.
I started a joke......oh, but I didn't see.....

[Jude]

Never under any circumstances, combine a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[sylas]

Never under any circumstances, combine a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

As I age, I am actually becoming more regular in my habits. Every morning at 6am I void my bladder, and at 6:30 I open my bowels... and at 7:00 I wake up.

[Jude]

The yogi was asked if he would like novacaine before a tooth filling.
He replied, "No thanks, I can transcend dental medication."

[rogue06]

A group of chess players who came to play in a tournament had just checked into a hotel but instead of going to their rooms stood in the lobby talking about various matches and bragging about their recent victories. After about an hour, the front desk clerk came over and told them they needed to go to their rooms

The hotel manager overheard this and called the clerk into his office and asked him to explain why he had been rude to the hotel guests since they didn't appear to be harming anyone.

The clerk responded, "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."