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This is satire
The biology books for high school levels up through medical student textbooks are being revised due to the new theories of disease discovered suddenly in 2020.
Now the disease is communicable by people who have no symptoms. This is a new model of the spread of disease. Don't refer back to the previous versions of the biology books. Those books were written before the coronavirus became popularized.
Now, masks are needed when you walk to your table at the restaurant but the virus does not spread when you take off the mask to start eating.
The virus would sneak through masks made of thick plastic covering your whole head. This is explained by Quantum Mechanics ... so it goes beyond your High School Biology textbooks.
Another area of study concerns how the Wuhan virus only affected the Chinese in Wuhan. However, when spreading to other countries, quarantines were needed. Scientists think they are close to figuring out why the rest of China was not the least affected by this virus.
Masks are now needed when you drive down the road. Otherwise, the virus will penetrate the metal and class exterior and sneak into the cars next to you. This is a new biological phenomena which is still being studied by scientists. Students, however, should be aware of this phenomena, as was revealed in a multitude of news stories.
A mysterious significance of 6 foot social distancing has been established to protect people from non-contagious people around them. Interestingly enough, the wearing of the magical mask is not sufficient to decrease this necessary distancing. The scientists are still trying to figure out why the disease spreads so much quicker if you are only 5 feet away from others. It originally was thought that if you were near someone for less than 10 minutes, you would be safe. Now you can catch the virus if someone stares at you. Again, this is a novel discovery which required a special virus to reveal this to us.
Most people have to go home and stay quarantined if tested positive for coronavirus, but if you are medical worker, it is okay to continue working because your are "essential." They eventually found that the simple designation of all people as essential thereby removed the virus' ability to spread.
This is the first coronavirus that has been able to be cured by a vaccine -- within one year development time. This is a phenomenal success of science since the previous SARS vaccine development created an immune response ... but when the lab animals were exposed to the wild virus, they had a hyper reaction to the virus instead of immunity. It is amazing what science achieves when it is put on the spot to make a new cure. Just like cancer cures, spending billions of dollars on it will solve it quickly.
Overall, the virus led to unimaginably fast discovery of vaccines (maybe a side effect of the virus for those scientists who did not die from it) and to the rejection of a hundred years of microbiological knowledge. The new textbooks will reflect the new understanding. Oh right. A warning to parents not to trip up their children with this old science stuff when these children ask help in their biology class.
Any thoughts?
The biology books for high school levels up through medical student textbooks are being revised due to the new theories of disease discovered suddenly in 2020.
Now the disease is communicable by people who have no symptoms. This is a new model of the spread of disease. Don't refer back to the previous versions of the biology books. Those books were written before the coronavirus became popularized.
Now, masks are needed when you walk to your table at the restaurant but the virus does not spread when you take off the mask to start eating.
The virus would sneak through masks made of thick plastic covering your whole head. This is explained by Quantum Mechanics ... so it goes beyond your High School Biology textbooks.
Another area of study concerns how the Wuhan virus only affected the Chinese in Wuhan. However, when spreading to other countries, quarantines were needed. Scientists think they are close to figuring out why the rest of China was not the least affected by this virus.
Masks are now needed when you drive down the road. Otherwise, the virus will penetrate the metal and class exterior and sneak into the cars next to you. This is a new biological phenomena which is still being studied by scientists. Students, however, should be aware of this phenomena, as was revealed in a multitude of news stories.
A mysterious significance of 6 foot social distancing has been established to protect people from non-contagious people around them. Interestingly enough, the wearing of the magical mask is not sufficient to decrease this necessary distancing. The scientists are still trying to figure out why the disease spreads so much quicker if you are only 5 feet away from others. It originally was thought that if you were near someone for less than 10 minutes, you would be safe. Now you can catch the virus if someone stares at you. Again, this is a novel discovery which required a special virus to reveal this to us.
Most people have to go home and stay quarantined if tested positive for coronavirus, but if you are medical worker, it is okay to continue working because your are "essential." They eventually found that the simple designation of all people as essential thereby removed the virus' ability to spread.
This is the first coronavirus that has been able to be cured by a vaccine -- within one year development time. This is a phenomenal success of science since the previous SARS vaccine development created an immune response ... but when the lab animals were exposed to the wild virus, they had a hyper reaction to the virus instead of immunity. It is amazing what science achieves when it is put on the spot to make a new cure. Just like cancer cures, spending billions of dollars on it will solve it quickly.
Overall, the virus led to unimaginably fast discovery of vaccines (maybe a side effect of the virus for those scientists who did not die from it) and to the rejection of a hundred years of microbiological knowledge. The new textbooks will reflect the new understanding. Oh right. A warning to parents not to trip up their children with this old science stuff when these children ask help in their biology class.
Any thoughts?
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