Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
Announcement
Collapse
Rec Room Guidelines
In the Rec Room we share jokes, interesting stories, and speculate about trout's manties. Serve up some Spam in many different flavors and sizes, and just take some time off from study and have fun.
If you need to refresh yourself on the decorm, now would be a good time. Forum Rules: here
If you need to refresh yourself on the decorm, now would be a good time. Forum Rules: here
See more
See less
Jokes
Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
-
They say a Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you really mean your mother.
I'm always still in trouble again
"You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
"Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
"Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman
Comment
-
Day 17
I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.-- Pavlov’s DogXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I'm always still in trouble again
"You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
"Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
"Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman
Comment
-
A man goes into a dog pound looking for a guard dog.
The pound watchman takes him back into the area with the dogs.
They come across a Rottweiler chewing on a board.
"Wow! That looks like a tough dog" the man says
The watchman says, "that's nothing, follow me"
They come across a pit bull chewing on a metal bar
The man says "WOW!! Now THAT is what I am talking about!"
The watchman says "he's not the one you need. Follow me."
They come to the last cage in the building where a Chihuahua lays while licking his private parts.
The man says "WHAT??? Are you kidding me? A Chihuahua???"
The watchman said "We had a break-in earlier, and Pedro there is getting the taste out of his mouth"That's what
- She
Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals
- Manya the Holy Szin (The Quintara Marathon)
I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common
- Stephen R. Donaldson
Comment
-
I play the bagpipes and get various gigs for doing so.
Once I was asked by a friend of mine who is a funeral director to play at a small service in the back country of Kentucky for a homeless man.
I had the time and agreed but being unfamiliar with the area I was soon lost and several minutes late arriving to the grave
site. When I rounded one particularly long curve, I discovered that I was indeed late. That everyone had left except for the
workers and they were taking lunch beside their backhoe. I got out my pipes anyway and approached the open grave. The vault cover
was already in place. I played a touching and mournful version of Amazing Grace. I played my heart out for this homeless man
with no friends or family. The workers gathered around me hats in hand. They cried. I cried. I finished and silently walked away
with my heart swelling to the point of bursting. As I put my pipes back in my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Never seen
nothing like that and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Note: Full disclosure. I do not play bagpipes. This joke was read aloud by Ravi Z. in first person so I followed suit.Last edited by Jude; 03-15-2015, 07:30 AM.
Comment
-
0000000000jk.jpg
Click on the image and then click on the resulting image to embiggen it
I'm always still in trouble again
"You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
"Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
"Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman
Comment
-
A little girl walks up to a punk rocker.
"Why is your hair so green?", she asks him.
The man sneezes, wipes the snot off his nose with his hand and then proceeds to nonchalantly run aforementioned hand through his own hair.
"I've got no idea."
Comment
-
Q: What is the difference between an empty stomach and a Finnish person who wants to ask something from a stranger?
A: You can actually hear the empty stomach.
Q: What is the most heavenly language?
A: Finnish, because it takes an eternity to learn.
Q: How many Finns does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Once a Finn has noticed that a light bulb is made of glass and has the shape of a bottle, he'll try to open it.
Q: No, seriously, how many Finns does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink enough vodka for the room to start spinning.
Q: What's the difference between the Vikings and Finnish men?
A: When the Vikings came home after their wars, that's when the real drinking began. But when a Finnish man comes home after drinking, that's when the real war begins.
Q: How do you know a Finnish man is madly in love with his wife?
A: He almost tells her.
Comment
-
What's the difference between an abandoned Greyhound station and a lobster with large breasts?
One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean
That's what
- She
Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals
- Manya the Holy Szin (The Quintara Marathon)
I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common
- Stephen R. Donaldson
Comment
widgetinstance 221 (Related Threads) skipped due to lack of content & hide_module_if_empty option.
Comment