Why We Hate

[Cow Poke]

I have very seldom felt "slammed" by you, CP. Like many of us, you sometimes slide into sarcasm and ridicule, but it is relatively rare and seldom sustained....

And when I do that, I try to make it obvious I'm being facetious or otherwise... um... just poking. Again, if you ever feel you were "slammed", point it out, and I'll be glad to apologize.

[seer]

Yes it is. I find "goodness" to be incompatible with "hate." Hate is a negative emotion. You cannot embrace the negative and retain a claim to being "good" (at least not with respect to that thing).

I don't know, I think hating what Nazis do/did is a good thing.

I'm not making my point well. CP helped me to see part of the problem (I think). There is nothing incompatible with testifying against someone who has harmed you and doing everything in your power to ensure a long sentence if you feel there is a genuine risk. There IS a problem with testifying against someone who has harmed you and doing everything in your power to ensure a long sentence if you are doing so out of a motivation of hatred and anger and vengeance.

OK, I tend to agree. Though some would define vengeance as justice. There is a fine line though, we are not Vulcans after all.

When hate motivates us, we have given in to "the dark side." When we are motivated by love, we have not - even if we are making hard decisions. I have cut my youngest son off from all financial support. I have not done so out of hatred or anger. I have done so out of love - knowing that he is likely to use any money I make available to him to harm himself (drugs, yet another video game, etc.). I have made it clear to him that I will always be here - and I am ready/willing/able to help, the minute I have reason to believe he is actually interested in helping himself.

"Tough love" and "hate" are not the same thing. This is where I part company with the MM's and JPH's and Pix's of the world. Belittling and insulting others is an expression of hate. It is NOT tough love. There is no cause for it. It has no reasonable justification. It doesn't even make sense. I can challenge someone without doing any of those things. It accomplishes nothing but to further the antagonism and increase the trolling. I do not have to let the behavior of someone else dictate how I will interact with others. If I make the choice to be civil - I will be civil with anyone and everyone. The moment I let someone's trolling take me into the same kind of behavior in return, I have given them power over me - and let them make me someone and something I do not want to be. Returning "trolling" for "trolling" is easy. Maintaining civility in the face of an obvious troll - now THAT's hard. But I believe it is the good path - the right path. I also believe it is the only rational path.

Except, dark and light are purely subjective. Hate can motivate in good ways, in the sense that it can motivate one to get what he is after. Love and hate are perfectly natural human expressions. Imposing moral considerations is something I expect from a Theist.

[seer]

And when I do that, I try to make it obvious I'm being facetious or otherwise... um... just poking. Again, if you ever feel you were "slammed", point it out, and I'll be glad to apologize.

Well you guys just get a room!

[Mountain Man]

One size doesn't fit all, of course. In the example of a serial rapist, "forgiving" the guy and working to lessen his sentence might make you feel good, but it potentially puts other women at risk.

If, however, the circumstances are - for example - a fatherless young man who got caught up in the wrong crowd, and is sincerely repentant of his crime.... I actually work with people like that quite frequently, and have written about some of them on this very board. So, yeah, help where it's likely to do good for society.

For everything there is a season. This idea that there should be a "one size fits all" response to every situation is impractical and wrong. carpe's thinking strikes me as being too black and white on this topic.

[Cow Poke]

Well you guys just get a room!

Yeah, you're jealous.

[Mountain Man]

Good so you agree that one could do right by a person while still having disdain for them or what they did.

Let's put it this way: Just because I forgive someone for hurting me doesn't mean I'm obligated to become their friend.

[seer]

For everything there is a season. This idea that there should be a "one size fits all" response to every situation is impractical and wrong. carpe's thinking strikes me as being too black and white on this topic.

Carp has a problem with binary thinking, I have tried hard to break him of that bad habit!

[seer]

Yeah, you're jealous.

I just thew up a little in my mouth!

[Cow Poke]

I just thew up a little in my mouth!

I appreciate knowing that - it gives me a sense of accomplishment.

[seer]

I appreciate knowing that - it gives me a sense of accomplishment.

[carpedm9587]

I don't know, I think hating what Nazis do/did is a good thing.

I think fighting against what the Nazis did is a good thing. I think resisting what the Nazis did is a good thing. I think rejecting what the Nazis did is a good thing. And the fact is that I feel hate for what the Nazi's did. That is not an emotion I can suppress anymore than I can suppress that burning feeling when I drink coffee that is too hot. As I have noted - the question is what I DO with that hate. I find that what we feel can be greatly impacted by what we do. If I nurture the hatred - it will grow. If I act hatefully - hatred will grow. If I act out of love - hate has a tendency to dissipate.

OK, I tend to agree. Though some would define vengeance as justice. There is a fine line though, we are not Vulcans after all.

Vengeance is, at best, justice mixed with hate. We can get justice without the hate part.

Except, dark and light are purely subjective. Hate can motivate in good ways, in the sense that it can motivate one to get what he is after. Love and hate are perfectly natural human expressions. Imposing moral considerations is something I expect from a Theist.

Now you're sounding like me...

I disagree that "hate can motivate in good ways." I would consider such a statement an oxymoron. I suspect MLK would agree.

I also have never suggested that hate does not happen - and is not perfectly natural. I have suggested that hate is not something any of us should be nurturing. Hate is part of the dark side of human emotions. It will happen. Nurturing it is pretty much always a mistake, IMO.

[carpedm9587]

Well you guys just get a room!

What makes you think we haven't?

[carpedm9587]

For everything there is a season. This idea that there should be a "one size fits all" response to every situation is impractical and wrong.

"X is wrong" is not the same as "You can only do Y." I have said the former. I have not said the latter.

carpe's thinking strikes me as being too black and white on this topic.

Now THERE's an irony. But I think the problem is what you have heard - not what I am arguing.

[carpedm9587]

Let's put it this way: Just because I forgive someone for hurting me doesn't mean I'm obligated to become their friend.

I never suggested you were. I am certainly not friends with every human being I've ever encountered.

[carpedm9587]

Carp has a problem with binary thinking, I have tried hard to break him of that bad habit!