Things They Didn't Teach Me In Cemetery

[One Bad Pig]

Actually, it wasn't about "alcohol", it was about ABUSING things.

You mean someone SPILLED alcohol?

[Jedidiah]

Well we should not abuse Mormons.

[Cow Poke]

You mean like MORMONS???

Reminds me of the bar Smith had set up in the hotel he owned, while preaching against booze.

[Cow Poke]

Musta been one of those weird anti-alcohol churches.

Actually, it wasn't about "alcohol", it was about ABUSING things.

[Sparko]

Musta been one of those weird anti-alcohol churches.

You mean like MORMONS???

[One Bad Pig]

One Sunday Morning, I was doing the "Children's Sermon". I sit on the steps near the pulpit, and all the children come up and sit on the floor for a short object lesson or something. At this particular Church, we were LIVE ON THE RADIO on Sunday Mornings.

I was teaching about sin, and things in general that cause us sorrow. I had cut out advertisements from a magazine, and had a picture of a bottle of Jack Daniel's Whiskey. I greeted the children, then held up the page from the magazine with the Whiskey bottle on it.

BEFORE I COULD SAY A WORD, one of the boys jumped up and yelled, "HEY, THAT'S THE KIND MY DAD DRINKS!"

I glanced over at his father, his face turning red, as he tried to slip down under the pew in front of him.

Cemetery never taught about children and "open Mics".

Musta been one of those weird anti-alcohol churches.

[Paprika]

Cemetery never taught about children and "open Mics".

It must have been one of those weird unaccredited seminaries

[Cow Poke]

One Sunday Morning, I was doing the "Children's Sermon". I sit on the steps near the pulpit, and all the children come up and sit on the floor for a short object lesson or something. At this particular Church, we were LIVE ON THE RADIO on Sunday Mornings.

I was teaching about sin, and things in general that cause us sorrow. I had cut out advertisements from a magazine, and had a picture of a bottle of Jack Daniel's Whiskey. I greeted the children, then held up the page from the magazine with the Whiskey bottle on it.

BEFORE I COULD SAY A WORD, one of the boys jumped up and yelled, "HEY, THAT'S THE KIND MY DAD DRINKS!"

I glanced over at his father, his face turning red, as he tried to slip down under the pew in front of him.

Cemetery never taught about children and "open Mics".

[Cow Poke]

Yeah!

It's ABOUT TIME there is something on which we can agree!

[Paprika]

Now THAT part is true!

Yeah!

[Cow Poke]

Now THAT part is true!

[Paprika]

Cemetery is properly spelled, and it's where I often thought I was when I was in Seminary.

[Cow Poke]

Spelling.

Yeah, it's a play on words... Cemetery is properly spelled, and it's where I often thought I was when I was in Seminary.

I'm pretty sure it was meant as a joke.

[Paprika]

Things They Didn't Teach Me In Cemetery

Spelling.

[Cow Poke]

That sort of thing has happened to me before too.

One time (and I have no recollection of what I said or the topic) I made some offhand remark/opinion about something while several of us were sitting at a table during bible study. Afterward this guy came up to me and told me that what I said really helped him and he seemed so grateful. I was dumbfounded.

There have been times, as I was preaching, that I thought, "wow, this is going GREAT, this is one of the best sermons I have EVER preached"... and on the way home I would ask my wife, "what did you think". She would say, very politely yet unenthusiastically, "it was ok".

There have been OTHER times, however, when, as I was preaching, I thought "wow, this is going nowhere, I've lost my direction and momentum, I'm forgetting stuff, I've mispronounced words, I've stuttered..... I might as well just close in prayer and dismiss everybody and never come back again".

On THOSE Sundays, somebody would comment, "God really spoke through this morning and touched my heart... " or something like that.

I'd far rather preach a lousy sermon and have God touch a heart than to preach the best sermon ever and be of no affect.