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Are you Cold Hearted? Or are you Compassionate?

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Teallaura View Post
    So you think that compassion only occurs if you feel it?
    Didn't say anything of the sort - just said "Hmmmm... lemme think on that."

    I do think compassion is pretty useless if we don't act on it.
    The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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    • #32
      I'm much more the rationalist, but I don't feel I'm uncompassionate...but I married someone who is more compassionate to balance me out! My spiritual gift(s) is/are ministering/service (which I believe is my primary love language), teaching with a side of discernment (I'm a Deacon so...)
      "What has the Church gained if it is popular, but there is no conviction, no repentance, no power?" - A.W. Tozer

      "... there are two parties in Washington, the stupid party and the evil party, who occasionally get together and do something both stupid and evil, and this is called bipartisanship." - Everett Dirksen

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Littlejoe View Post
        I'm much more the rationalist, but I don't feel I'm uncompassionate...but I married someone who is more compassionate to balance me out! My spiritual gift(s) is/are ministering/service (which I believe is my primary love language), teaching with a side of discernment (I'm a Deacon so...)
        You hit on something important -- my wife is "gifted" differently than me, and she has a gift of discernment concerning people I just automatically trust -- on more than a few occasions, she tried to clue me in that somebody I was "accepting" had bad motives. Both of the main occasions early in our marriage were spot on, so I have learned to trust her in this regard.
        The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
          Didn't say anything of the sort - just said "Hmmmm... lemme think on that."

          I do think compassion is pretty useless if we don't act on it.
          Second part - mere indicated that it was only an emotion.
          "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

          "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Teallaura View Post
            Second part - mere indicated that it was only an emotion.
            I'm a guy - you gotta draw me a picture.
            The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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            • #36
              When I worked in the al facilities I got ticked very easily when my co workers made fun of Alzheimer's patients who were deemed as difficult it was also really hard not to get attached and hard not to worry about them. The workers who saw it as a paycheck were mean often left residents in soiled sheets without a bath and yes this caused an issue on more than one occasion as everyone was overworked underpaid and undertrained. And you cannot teach a person how to love someone who is hurting cranky or upset and even they don't understand it. I had to learn how to be objective and then get in my car and cry sometimes for several hours. By the way now that I have mentioned my slightly of compassion experience. My gifts are I think mercy and teaching. But where to use those right now is anyone's guess
              Last edited by Catholicity; 05-22-2015, 11:11 PM.
              A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
              George Bernard Shaw

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
                OK, first of all, let's clarify the terms....

                I have noticed (particularly with my own sisters dealing with my Dad) that people who tend to be "compassionate" tend to think others who are NOT so "compassionate" are "cold hearted".

                And people who are not so "compassionate" think of those who are "compassionate" as drama queens.

                My baby sister (the youngest of 5 sisters who are all younger than me ) is rather "matter of fact" about things. She doesn't get emotional, she faces problems calmly and reasonably, and she sometimes gets annoyed with the "drama" that others partake in. Mrs. CP is pretty much the same way - no drama.

                My oldest younger sister, on the other hand, is quite compassionate, and every problem is a crisis. Dad (mid 90's) fell in the bathroom (thread on that in Prayer/Praise) and my oldest younger sister thinks I should jump on a plane and get there (Ohio) right away. My youngest younger sister thinks I should wait til she talks to the doctors this evening and assesses the situation.

                OVER ALL, however, this confirms something I've seen in ministry. We are all "gifted" differently, and have different talents and abilities. We react differently. I have seen where those with the gift of mercy, for example, get frustrated because those with the gift of discernment or prophecy don't rush to help, and are seen as "lacking compassion".

                Personally, I think I used to be much less "compassionate" - and more "evangelistic" - and over the past 10 years or so have become more "pastoral".

                How bout you? Where do you think you fit? Do you see yourself as compassionate, and get frustrated at those who are not? Do you see yourself as "rational", and get frustrated at those who are "into drama"?

                Calm polite discussion, please.
                On the whole, I tend more toward 'cold-hearted' than 'compassionate' - not because I think I'm rational, but because I'm just very introverted. I don't see what drama has to do with compassion; in fact, I'd think that drama would tend to get in the way of compassion because one is 'me-directed' and the other is 'other-directed'.
                Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. St. John Chrysostom

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
                  OK, first of all, let's clarify the terms....

                  I have noticed (particularly with my own sisters dealing with my Dad) that people who tend to be "compassionate" tend to think others who are NOT so "compassionate" are "cold hearted".

                  And people who are not so "compassionate" think of those who are "compassionate" as drama queens.

                  My baby sister (the youngest of 5 sisters who are all younger than me ) is rather "matter of fact" about things. She doesn't get emotional, she faces problems calmly and reasonably, and she sometimes gets annoyed with the "drama" that others partake in. Mrs. CP is pretty much the same way - no drama.

                  My oldest younger sister, on the other hand, is quite compassionate, and every problem is a crisis. Dad (mid 90's) fell in the bathroom (thread on that in Prayer/Praise) and my oldest younger sister thinks I should jump on a plane and get there (Ohio) right away. My youngest younger sister thinks I should wait til she talks to the doctors this evening and assesses the situation.

                  OVER ALL, however, this confirms something I've seen in ministry. We are all "gifted" differently, and have different talents and abilities. We react differently. I have seen where those with the gift of mercy, for example, get frustrated because those with the gift of discernment or prophecy don't rush to help, and are seen as "lacking compassion".

                  Personally, I think I used to be much less "compassionate" - and more "evangelistic" - and over the past 10 years or so have become more "pastoral".

                  How bout you? Where do you think you fit? Do you see yourself as compassionate, and get frustrated at those who are not? Do you see yourself as "rational", and get frustrated at those who are "into drama"?

                  Calm polite discussion, please.
                  Kind of looks like you're looking at the F/T divide that some personality theories use. I learn a little bit more towards the F (or compassionate) side than the T (or rational) side myself. I don't get frustrated though just because I know a little bit of rational input is important too.
                  "The man from the yacht thought he was the first to find England; I thought I was the first to find Europe. I did try to found a heresy of my own; and when I had put the last touches to it, I discovered that it was orthodoxy."
                  GK Chesterton; Orthodoxy

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                  • #39
                    I think you might be confusing sympathy with compassion. Compassion is an open hearted ness towards others. It need not involve any emotion but is rather an attitude of considering the other, of being in their shoes.

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                    • #40
                      I agree with the small duck named Laura and the man who is a pancreas. Compassion, as I see it, can be thought of in a way similar to repentance. People who repent CAN express it via intense emotional feelings, but it's also possible for people to genuinely repent without experiencing such emotion. The Greek word, after all, is metanoia--meaning "a change of mind." Similarly, genuine compassion can be boiled down to a broadening of the mind, and that can be independent of emotion--it's more of an attitude. You don't have to be brought to tears at the suffering/concerns of others; you just have to make an effort to understand them and foster an attitude of helpfulness. Subsequently, people who appear "cold-hearted" can, in fact, be compassionate. And just as well, because isn't that exactly the essence of Jesus' famous command--to love your neighbor as yourself? I would even go so far as to say that to functionally be a Christian--to live as Jesus did--necessarily requires compassion.
                      Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.--Isaiah 1:17

                      I don't think that all forms o[f] slavery are inherently immoral.--seer

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                      • #41
                        Compassion must always lead to action imo.

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by pancreasman View Post
                          Compassion must always lead to action imo.
                          Compassion: sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

                          Now, naturally, it's pretty useless just to have sympathetic pity and concern unless you're going to do something about it, but the fact is, a lot of people never get past "feelings'.
                          The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by fm93 View Post
                            Subsequently, people who appear "cold-hearted" can, in fact, be compassionate. And just as well, because isn't that exactly the essence of Jesus' famous command--to love your neighbor as yourself? I would even go so far as to say that to functionally be a Christian--to live as Jesus did--necessarily requires compassion.
                            Yeah, I've known people who see a need, and quietly and efficiently meet the need, or address the need, and move on. On the surface, they may appear "cold hearted", because they aren't making a big deal of it, but they get the job done.

                            I've also seen others who tend to go on and on about a need, but never quite get to the part where the need is met.
                            The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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                            • #44
                              Wow. Just got this and it really touched my heart. Some will see this as me boasting or tooting my own horn, but it goes along so well with the subject matter of this thread. A lady our Church has been helping (because we actually have some wonderful compassionate people) asked me to share this with our Church. It's the kind of thing that just makes you want to do even more....

                              ====================================

                              "Church Family". We have all heard or used the phrase. But it was not until ________ Baptist Church came into our lives that I finally knew what that phrase truly means. It is not about the 10 minutes before or after church service with all the polite, surface banter. That is not what this phrase is about.

                              It is about the people that are the church. It is about moving to a town and not knowing a soul there and finding out your husband is diagnosed with a life threatening disease and feeling helpless and alone until a phone call from a pastor you have never even met, who heard of our need via a bulk e-mail, stepped up to help. It is about living with a critically ill husband in an unfinished home with no plumbing and rain coming and the people from that church showing up in the hot Texas heat and working tirelessly with me to make our house into a home.

                              It is about the wonderful cards with the signatures and encouraging messages that are one of the only links my husband has to the outside world. It is about the countless meals the ladies prepared and delivered to us when they found out we had no stove or interior plumbing yet. It is about them turning my absolute crippling grief over the loss of my mother into a beautiful celebration of her life.

                              It is the selfless, anonymous blessings that have come un-expectedly when I have needed them most. It is about a church member hearing weeping in another room and gathering all the ladies to circle me with their hugs and prayers. It is about hearing the phrase “we will be praying for you” and knowing it is happening. It is about knowing that all these people have their own trials and burdens in their own lives and yet they put them aside to help us.

                              Church Family may not be just the members of the church you go to. It is also the people whose hearts are touched by our Lord to help others in whatever way they are led by Him to do.

                              We simply do not have the words that come close to being able to express our gratitude for the countless blessings from our wonderful Church Family and we can only hope you all know how heartfelt it is when we give thanks to all of you. May God Bless all of you!!!
                              The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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                              • #45
                                I'm very much the introvert, and have always had trouble interacting with people. I'm just...bad at it, all around. People don't know what to make of me and how to interact with me, and I don't know how to interact with them. I'm an odd duck. (It took me a long time to come to grips with this.)

                                I've also noticed lately that my temperament seems to be very level: I don't tend to get excited or worried about stuff. My personality seems to be quite calm, on the whole.

                                So all of this probably makes me come across as cold-hearted, because I don't really smile much, I don't really talk much, etc. But I care a lot more than it probably appears that I do.

                                I was going to say something else, but I forgot what it was....
                                I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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