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  • #31
    Originally posted by seasanctuary View Post
    Thank you. I'm not worried about being a jerk in those particular areas. She does come with children. I only need the freedom to be honest about my own views (in an age-appropriate way). "Actively trying" wouldn't apply if they were my own children too, let alone when they're not. I am 100% ok if they all stay Christian forever.
    I would encourage communication about what that looks like in practice. Understand, too, that what is ok now might not be if it starts to appear that your words have an undesired effect. You're smart, though, and don't need to be told that. :)


    Originally posted by seasanctuary View Post
    Wouldn't want to date for a year and suddenly that's the problem.
    This would be my main concern. Not just in a year, but in ten years.



    You manage to find the most interesting relationships...
    I'm not here anymore.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by seasanctuary View Post
      I'm looking for personal experiences or accounts you can point me toward of a Christian and a religious skeptic making a marriage relationship work. Considering dating a Christian for the first time in a long time and am thinking ahead.
      I'm married to a Christian, and so is showmeproof, for what it's worth. It's pretty easy, actually, especially if they are moderates, humble, and open minded. If that describes your friend, it shouldn't be a huge challenge.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by whag View Post
        I'm married to a Christian, and so is showmeproof, for what it's worth. It's pretty easy, actually, especially if they are moderates, humble, and open minded. If that describes your friend, it shouldn't be a huge challenge.
        Just out of curiosity, Whag, does she attend Church? And, if so, does she contribute financially?
        The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by whag View Post
          I'm married to a Christian, and so is showmeproof, for what it's worth. It's pretty easy, actually, especially if they are moderates, humble, and open minded. If that describes your friend, it shouldn't be a huge challenge.
          Thank you, whag. It would be quite a while before I actually date her, if ever. (Old friend I don't live near, for one thing.) Still, it's nice to see encouraging things about the abstract possibility.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
            Just out of curiosity, Whag, does she attend Church? And, if so, does she contribute financially?
            Yes she goes to church. No, she's feeling out the church still to see how they spend money to see how she wants to give. Tithing was an issue before because her previous church wasted money (on horrible bookstore, disorganized missions, gym, etc). She volunteers a lot, so she's not as concerned about tithing.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by whag View Post
              Yes she goes to church.
              Thanks

              No, she's feeling out the church still to see how they spend money to see how she wants to give.
              Very prudent.

              Tithing was an issue before because her previous church wasted money (on horrible bookstore, disorganized missions, gym, etc). She volunteers a lot, so she's not as concerned about tithing.
              OK, so if she decided to tithe, you'd not be opposed? And I guess you'd see this as tithing "her" money? (not trying to assume, so asking)
              The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
                Thanks



                Very prudent.



                OK, so if she decided to tithe, you'd not be opposed? And I guess you'd see this as tithing "her" money? (not trying to assume, so asking)
                I make enough money and we live a modest enough life (no mortgage, cheap apartment) where that wouldn't be an issue. She's very social and good with people, so she's happy enough to contribute through action anyway. Our charity is our family and desperate friends, who often need meals and help. We also have lots of "can collectors" who visit the apartment dumpsters. We leave fresh food in them at night whenever we can. That's actually a great system if you label the bags as fresh. We get lots of thank you notes. =)

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                • #38
                  Cool.
                  "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

                  "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

                  My Personal Blog

                  My Novella blog (Current Novella Begins on 7/25/14)

                  Quill Sword

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by seasanctuary View Post
                    I'm looking for personal experiences or accounts you can point me toward of a Christian and a religious skeptic making a marriage relationship work. Considering dating a Christian for the first time in a long time and am thinking ahead.
                    I have been married for 10 years with an evangelical Christian. She was nominally Christian to start, but as I expressed more of my doubt and what I was beginning to believe she became more and more literalist.

                    The biggest issues surround the teaching of children.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by seasanctuary View Post
                      I'm looking for personal experiences or accounts you can point me toward of a Christian and a religious skeptic making a marriage relationship work. Considering dating a Christian for the first time in a long time and am thinking ahead.
                      It depends on the person, I would say, Sea.

                      Both my wife and I were Christians when we first were married. Over time, I've become non-theistic, and she has moved into a more secular version of Christianity. We no longer attend church, although I occasionally attend the local Synagogue (I am Jewish on my mother's side of the family).

                      If you are both mature, and keep an open mind in the area of religion, then it could work very well. My wife and I have very enlightened discussions. We are both willing to alter our views, or allow them to evolve as we learn new things.

                      BTW, I am happy to see that T-Web is back in business. I had given up after the Big Bang some time ago, happily working on my latest novel without the distraction of this forum.

                      I see that we are all on Level I !! Ha.

                      NORM
                      When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. - Bishop Desmond Tutu

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by showmeproof View Post
                        I have been married for 10 years with an evangelical Christian. She was nominally Christian to start, but as I expressed more of my doubt and what I was beginning to believe she became more and more literalist.

                        The biggest issues surround the teaching of children.
                        Were you a christian when you married?

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by whag View Post
                          Were you a christian when you married?
                          Nominally. I got married at 20 (5 days prior to my 21rst birthday) and was still in university. I was still learning how to think.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by showmeproof View Post
                            Nominally. I got married at 20 (5 days prior to my 21rst birthday) and was still in university. I was still learning how to think.
                            My wife has migrated from literalism to a much more manageable belief system (because of a moral crisis). It's possible!

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