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Not sure if I did the right thing....

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  • Not sure if I did the right thing....

    I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this. I'd like only Christians to comment on this. I have some friends who have been living in sin. They're very good friends of mine and they're Christians. I know we all sin but they live in sexual sin and I've confronted them on this issue and they refuse to change. This has really broken my heart, especially since they have a little three year old in the middle of their situation. They're a married couple who refuse to get divorced but live as if they're divorced and continue to cheat on each other and it sickens me. I wasn't sure what to do because they wouldn't listen to me. Usually they listen to my advice but this time they refuse to listen. I've invested a lot of time and energy in this couple. The woman is like a sister to me. I asked my dad what I should do and I asked a friend what I should do and they said I should do what Paul said which was to excommunicate with her. I read another friend's blog on a similar topic and they seemed to be under the same opinion. So I sent her a message explaining to her how much it hurt me what she was doing and that I couldn't talk to her anymore until she decides to work on her marriage instead of destroying it. Did I do the right thing? I don't want to be a snooty Christian but if this is what it takes for her to open her eyes then I hope she realizes I still care about her. I hope she decides to work on her marriage. What do you think I should've done? I unfriended her on Facebook (she moved away so I don't see her anymore).

  • #2
    Yes, sweetie. You did the right thing.

    You confronted them in their sin and they wouldn't listen, and at this point you would be just frustrating yourself and beating your head against their wall.

    Pray for them. God will have to work in their lives, and you are not in charge of that.

    It's really hard, I know, but I think you did the right thing.



    Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

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    • #3
      You absolutely did the right thing. Sexual sin has a way of propagating. When people are around those who revel in their sexual sin, others get caught up in it and it spreads. That's not something you or any Christian needs to deal with. Like the Prodigal's father, let them go but pray for their return.
      That's what
      - She

      Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals
      - Manya the Holy Szin (The Quintara Marathon)

      I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common
      Stephen R. Donaldson

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      • #4
        Pray. At times you can be the person to minister to someone who lives in sin but you don't have to be. Point, My best friend has a "common law" marriage, now I've been called to be her friend and as far as common law marriages go they are completely faithful to one another and they were considered common law and went to church long after I was close to their family, and with three children and 25 years it would be more wrong to seperate than to stay in the common law marriage, if they were to seperate they'd have to file divorce papers accordance with state civil law. I don't know what God thinks but All I can glean from this is the idea of following state authority. Another friend is openly bi, but its never stopped me from ministering to her either through just doing and being there especially since she's had so much betrayal. But not everyone is qualified or called. My heart hurts for people who are hard cases and people who find themselves in tough places. I'm a sucker for it and maybe I'm just called to do it. (Carefully with my kids around, people know I have morals and standards so really hard stuff we talk about away from children) But don't feel bad if you can't. I had a friend who got sucked in to a cult belief and was raising her child in an abusive way, no medication so I ended up deleting her forever and reporting it to CSF because it was SOOO AWFUL and I could not stand to be around it. She was allowing her husband and church to abuse her and their daughter. I walked away and it was painful. I pray for her.
        A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
        George Bernard Shaw

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Bill the Cat View Post
          You absolutely did the right thing. Sexual sin has a way of propagating. When people are around those who revel in their sexual sin, others get caught up in it and it spreads. That's not something you or any Christian needs to deal with. Like the Prodigal's father, let them go but pray for their return.
          Sin is sin, as they say, but sexual sin focuses on the relationship between God and His Church. Before that the same analogy was used for the relationship between Israel and God. You have to do the best you can do. ETA: It ain't always easy, girl.
          Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

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          • #6
            One of the most difficult things we can do is to walk away and leave things to God. But we never know whether what we do will be the final word or not. People can surprise us.
            "I am not angered that the Moral Majority boys campaign against abortion. I am angry when the same men who say, "Save OUR children" bellow "Build more and bigger bombers." That's right! Blast the children in other nations into eternity, or limbless misery as they lay crippled from "OUR" bombers! This does not jell." - Leonard Ravenhill

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            • #7
              Thanks y'all :)

              Comment


              • #8
                you did the right thing.

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                • #9
                  You did the right thing Toodles. Don't worry about it. A Christian should first admonish themselves and search out their own faults, but I have no doubt that you're a person who does this often. And I'm sure you admonished the person as an act of charitable love as well, you wanted them to stop doing something that was bad for that. That's often hard, and doesn't feel nice, but its an act of love.

                  Admonishing sinners, when we're competent and able to do it, is a work of mercy.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    We are also instructed in scripture to expose sin when we see it in others. Ephesians 5:11.

                    Otherwise we become partakers in it.


                    Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by mossrose View Post
                      We are also instructed in scripture to expose sin when we see it in others. Ephesians 5:11.

                      Otherwise we become partakers in it.


                      There's this handy lists of the ways the Bible indicates we can participate in sin.

                      1. By counsel
                      2. By command
                      3. By consent
                      4. By provocation
                      5. By praise or flattery
                      6. By concealment
                      7. By partaking
                      8. By silence
                      9. By defense of the ill done

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by mossrose View Post
                        We are also instructed in scripture to expose sin when we see it in others. Ephesians 5:11.

                        Otherwise we become partakers in it.
                        I have to say that I am not certain how that particular verse is applied in day to day life. Especially today when we are so much more aware via the Internet and mass media. Would this verse apply more to exposing sin in fellow Christians or exposing sin in everyone?
                        Last edited by Paula; 07-21-2015, 09:03 PM.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Paula View Post
                          I have to say that I am not certain how that particular verse is applied in day to day life. Especially today when we are so much more aware via the Internet and mass media. Would this verse apply more to exposing sin in fellow Christians or exposing sin in everyone?
                          It certainly can and should be applied just as much today as when it was written.

                          The letter to the Ephesians was written to believers, so the main directive would be to expose sin in other believers. If you take it in context from the beginning of the chapter, it becomes clear.

                          1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;

                          2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

                          3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;

                          4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

                          5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

                          6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

                          7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;

                          8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light

                          9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),

                          10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.

                          11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
                          12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.

                          13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.
                          Christians are to faithfully live in righteousness and purity and have nothing to do with the evil ways and works of Satan and the world. Our responsibility doesn't stop with our own rejection of evil, but we are also responsible for exposing and opposing darkness wherever it is found, especially within the church.

                          The procedures for church discipline found in Matthew 18:15-17 and Galatians 6:1-2 would certainly need to be followed.


                          Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by mossrose View Post
                            It certainly can and should be applied just as much today as when it was written.
                            Oh my intention behind my earlier comment wasn't to indicate that biblical principles are temporal. I certainly do believe in absolute morality. God's law is in force regardless of how relativistic or apathetic the world gets.

                            My intention was more on the scope, mainly related to the question of believers versus unbelievers which you addressed, and to a lesser extent the broadness of our response.

                            Originally posted by mossrose View Post
                            The letter to the Ephesians was written to believers, so the main directive would be to expose sin in other believers. If you take it in context from the beginning of the chapter, it becomes clear.



                            Christians are to faithfully live in righteousness and purity and have nothing to do with the evil ways and works of Satan and the world. Our responsibility doesn't stop with our own rejection of evil, but we are also responsible for exposing and opposing darkness wherever it is found, especially within the church.

                            The procedures for church discipline found in Matthew 18:15-17 and Galatians 6:1-2 would certainly need to be followed.
                            Good point--the rest of the surrounding verses are talking about Christians so it stands to reason the concern was more with church discipline. That would also be in line with what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5:9-12 regarding friendship.

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