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Marriage & Beliefs

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  • Marriage & Beliefs

    I recognize a potential spouse's character is of utmost importance and do not seek to minimize this consideration, but where do you personally draw clear doctrinal lines as to what is acceptable or unacceptable to you personally before seeking or choosing a marriage partner? I could imagine a historic premillennialist and an amillennialist getting along quite well together, but other doctrinal matters are more serious. Personally, I cannot imagine becoming involved with a Calvinist female on any serious relational level. Our soteriological beliefs would be far too different and this would ultimately place a strain on the relationship (especially if children were to arise out of the arrangement). Also, I am at the stage now where my belief in the final annihilation of the lost is too important and well-grounded to simply surrender in the name of potential marital bliss in the future. I have enough foresight to see a doctrinal tug-of-war somewhere down the road if/when children are involved. I would not want the children to be caught in the middle. No good could arise out of it. Supposing, however, that we were not to have children, I would want to be of one basic mind with my partner/wife in her and my view of God and Jesus Christ. Arminianism, Calvinism, endless torment, and annihilation do not mesh well together. (Also, I would not wish to be involved with someone who is doctrinally indifferent. What on earth would a high Calvinist want to do with a staunch Remonstrant? She obviously wouldn't be taking her beliefs very seriously.)

    I would like to invite your participation on this thread. How important are your religious doctrinal beliefs to you? For example, if you strongly believed in the doctrine of everlasting conscious torment, could/would you even consider marrying a fellow brother or sister in Christ if he or she was an annihilationist without seeking to "convert" him or her? What would you not be willing to compromise on?

    (Note: Please abstain from personal attacks or jabs on this thread. Cheap-shots of any kind against anyone are not welcome. If you take issue with or wish to criticize any of the participants on this thread, do so in a private exchange. This thread is specifically addressed to trinitarian Christians. Do not argue for or against any particular doctrinal belief here, but simply state what you personally find acceptable or unacceptable in a potential marital partner's beliefs and expound your position.)
    For Neo-Remonstration (Arminian/Remonstrant ruminations): <https://theremonstrant.blogspot.com>

  • #2
    I still haven't officially left the Catholic Church, and believe in a great deal of the theology. King's Gambit on the other hand is an Arminian/American Baptist. I want to have the new baby baptized, we're debating it. So what? Its not the hill we're going to die on. I believe in soul immortatiliy either heaven or hell, he's an annihilationist. He's not hung up on innerrancy, I believe in something in between. I wouldn't have cared if he was a calvinist. You know why? We're both Christians, we both have a real firmly founded belief in the Word of God. That's important. That's what counts. We have some lively discussions. And neither one of us has to agree with the other on any non essential doctrine. We're Ecumenical. The Essential Part of Christianity comes with Believing in Christ's Life Death and Ressurrection and baptising. on that we agree. There are other things that are more important.... Like Raising children, having common goals, helping one another get to heaven. etc.
    A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
    George Bernard Shaw

    Comment


    • #3
      My wife was raised Lutheran, but her family didn't attend Church much. They were, for all intents and purposes, CEO Lutherans.

      On our first date, I asked her if she knew Jesus as Savior, and we had a good talk about it. She accepted Christ, and has been going to Church with me as a Baptist for nearly 40 years.
      "Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”

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      • #4
        Soteriology would probably be the most important thing. Some practical issues like gender roles, political positions, and views on things like alcohol would come next. If worse came to worse, though, I would quit drinking if necessary to obtain the others. Most unmarried women these days are so warped that a man needs to take what he can get.

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        • #5
          CEO Lutherans?
          The greater number of laws . . . , the more thieves . . . there will be. ---- Lao-Tzu

          [T]he truth I’m after and the truth never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance -— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Obsidian View Post
            Soteriology would probably be the most important thing. Some practical issues like gender roles, political positions, and views on things like alcohol would come next. If worse came to worse, though, I would quit drinking if necessary to obtain the others. Most unmarried women these days are so warped that a man needs to take what he can get.
            A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
            George Bernard Shaw

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Obsidian View Post
              Soteriology would probably be the most important thing. Some practical issues like gender roles, political positions, and views on things like alcohol would come next. If worse came to worse, though, I would quit drinking if necessary to obtain the others. Most unmarried women these days are so warped that a man needs to take what he can get.
              And how many unmarried women have you interacted with? *Chuckle* On another note, you definitely might want to quit drinking.

              Edit: Rem, I hope you don't take the above as disregarding your plea for civil discourse. I'm just pulling Ob's leg, and I won't take it any further.
              Last edited by Scrawly; 04-26-2014, 07:51 PM.

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              • #8
                I'm puzzled. Nobody is perfect. Sure, draw the line somewhere. But if you want perfection, nobody would be on the good side of the line. Besides who deserves a perfect mate?
                The greater number of laws . . . , the more thieves . . . there will be. ---- Lao-Tzu

                [T]he truth I’m after and the truth never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance -— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'd want someone who'd at least be willing to attend church with me, even if she didn't convert to Orthodoxy; I believe worshiping together is quite important, and I see the stress on couples who attend different churches. I'm flexible on anything that hasn't been dogmatically defined by the seven Ecumenical Councils.
                  Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. – St. John Chrysostom

                  Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
                  sigpic
                  I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Truthseeker View Post
                    CEO Lutherans?
                    Christmas & Easter Only
                    "Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by One Bad Pig View Post
                      I'd want someone who'd at least be willing to attend church with me, even if she didn't convert to Orthodoxy; I believe worshiping together is quite important, and I see the stress on couples who attend different churches. I'm flexible on anything that hasn't been dogmatically defined by the seven Ecumenical Councils.
                      And, naturally, there would have to be agreement that any offspring would be raised in such a manner that they would also be able to worship together with the family. But I think what you said supposes that to follow.
                      "Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        These questions are so hard to answer in the abstract. I was never in this position; my first serious girlfriend has been my wife for, um, a while. Like most Christians, she's not as doctrinally inclined as the people who hang out on this board. It would be difficult to marry someone who strongly holds differences on some things. I'm glad I am married to a Calvinist, but I wouldn't have ruled out a friendly Arminian automatically.

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                        • #13
                          So what are KG and I just an anomaly? I mean we disagree sincerely on anihilationism, but neither one of us wants to convert each other. I figure the point is that you can either accept Christ and Live Forever with Him or don't and be punished. I figure that our daughter's will decide what to believe in regarding eternal torment. Its just not the hill to die on, and I don't have the notion of "scaring" them into Heaven. I have the notion of giving them the benefits of a relationship with the Lord however......

                          Also I don't see what the big deal is here anyway, My Lutheran Grandpa Married a Baptist, now they go to an ARP presbyterian Church but I think my grandmother leans more Baptist. In any case, neither one REALLY tries to die on that hill. Christian is more important.
                          My Baptist/Evangelical Dad Married a Charismatic Methodist (My Mom)....

                          Soo........


                          ?????

                          My hubby married a Catholic

                          Hubby's Uncle Married a Catholic

                          Father in Law SB married a Methodist.... Sorry, I don't see denominations. I see Christian. I think some people need to take some blinders off.
                          Last edited by Catholicity; 04-26-2014, 09:40 PM.
                          A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
                          George Bernard Shaw

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Catholicity View Post
                            So what are KG and I just an anomaly? I mean we disagree sincerely on anihilationism, but neither one of us wants to convert each other. I figure the point is that you can either accept Christ and Live Forever with Him or don't and be punished. I figure that our daughter's will decide what to believe in regarding eternal torment. Its just not the hill to die on, and I don't have the notion of "scaring" them into Heaven. I have the notion of giving them the benefits of a relationship with the Lord however......

                            Also I don't see what the big deal is here anyway, My Lutheran Grandpa Married a Baptist, now they go to an ARP presbyterian Church but I think my grandmother leans more Baptist. In any case, neither one REALLY tries to die on that hill. Christian is more important.
                            My Baptist/Evangelical Dad Married a Charismatic Methodist (My Mom)....

                            Soo........


                            ?????

                            My hubby married a Catholic

                            Hubby's Uncle Married a Catholic

                            Father in Law SB married a Methodist.... Sorry, I don't see denominations. I see Christian. I think some people need to take some blinders off.
                            I totally agreed with you. I've never had a problem dating cross-denominationally.

                            "Fire is catching. If we burn, you burn with us!"
                            "I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay here and cause all kinds of trouble."
                            Katniss Everdeen


                            Christ our Passover has been sacrificed for us. Therefore let us keep the feast.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by thewriteranon View Post
                              I totally agreed with you. I've never had a problem dating cross-denominationally.
                              That's because most denominations these days are equally inconsequential.

                              Obsidian had the best post in the thread and Remonstrant needs to stop treating girls as beings which primarily think.

                              Comment

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