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  • Joke of the Day

    Joke of the Month
    A man walked to the top of a mountain and yelled up to God, "God, what's a million years to you?"

    God said, "A minute."

    Then the man asked, "Well, what's a million dollars to you?"

    God said, "A penny."

    The man asked, "God, can I have a penny?"

    And God said, "Sure, in a minute."

    -Hawkin Energy Newsletter
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

    "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

    My Personal Blog

    My Novella blog (Current Novella Begins on 7/25/14)

    Quill Sword

  • #2
    Joke of the Month
    Tom: How's your job at the power plant?


    Ron: I don't have the energy to talk about it.


    ---


    Patient: Doc, What's the best cure for double vision?


    Doctor: Shut one eye.


    ---


    Ron: I always get sick the night before I go on a trip.


    Tom: So why don't you leave a day earlier?




    -Hawkin Energy Newsletter
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

    "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

    My Personal Blog

    My Novella blog (Current Novella Begins on 7/25/14)

    Quill Sword

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Teallaura View Post

      Patient: Doc, What's the best cure for double vision?


      Doctor: Shut one eye.
      Been there. Done that. It was the only way that I could tell which road was the real one.

      I'm always still in trouble again

      "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
      "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
      "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

      Comment


      • #4
        Your own fault - we told you to leave those mushrooms alone!
        "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

        "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

        My Personal Blog

        My Novella blog (Current Novella Begins on 7/25/14)

        Quill Sword

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Teallaura View Post
          Your own fault - we told you to leave those mushrooms alone!
          It was after a New Years Eve party. I drank waaaay too much "Hunch Punch" (Everclear/190-proof alcohol, Hawaiian Punch & fruit) -- something like a dozen very large glasses.

          I was quite literally seeing double as I said. Still I had enough sense to realize I really, really should not be driving. About 2 miles down the road I saw a police car parked along the side of the road so I flashed my lights, did a U-turn and pulled up behind him. He walked up and asked what was wrong and I told him. This was back in the days when a DUI wasn't considered serious so he was just glad that I recognized that I was too impaired to be driving.

          He told me to park my car in the nearby Kroger parking lot (and informed me that I had until noon tomorrow to come back and get it) and took me home.

          I'm always still in trouble again

          "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
          "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
          "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

          Comment


          • #6




            What part of 'everclear' sounded like a good idea in the first place?
            "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

            "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

            My Personal Blog

            My Novella blog (Current Novella Begins on 7/25/14)

            Quill Sword

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by HAWKIN ENERGY NEWSLETTER
              Joke of the Month


              A man and his new wife were out for a romantic dinner during their honeymoon. As they were enjoying dessert, the man turned to his wife and asked, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

              "Dear, " she replied sweetly, "I would have married you no matter who left you a fortune."
              "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

              "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

              My Personal Blog

              My Novella blog (Current Novella Begins on 7/25/14)

              Quill Sword

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Teallaura View Post

                Comment


                • #9
                  The week before Thanksgiving the chickens and the turkeys were standing around the barnyard talking. The chickens say to the turkeys "I don't know what you're complaining about, we're nervous like this all year long"

                  Comment

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