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  • #16
    The ONLY time I ever struck a woman.


    Hayseed Tavern again, this time the complaint is an unruly woman making trouble. It's daytime, so the "wait for backup" rule is less critical.

    I walk into the bar, and several patrons point me over to the woman, who was cussing like a sailor, obviously too much to drink, and needing some fresh air.

    I approached her, and asked her if she would step outside with me. At the same time, I took her hand in mine (kinda hard to describe this, but there's a way to hold her thumb in your hand and apply enough pressure to make her cooperate without looking like you're abusing a woman) and began leading her to the door.

    Things were going OK, and a backup had arrived, the officer standing in the doorway, but when she saw him, she yelled, "WHO CALLED THE #^$!!$! COPS?!?!?!" (Maybe she thought I was the bus driver?)

    She fell to her knees, screamed a blood curdling yell, then sunk her teeth into the top of my thigh right near my... um... it was obvious what she was aiming for, and only slightly missed.

    Things happened really really fast, and my reflexes took over, and before I knew it, I had grabbed my night stick, raised it in the air, and came down hard and fast on her head. She fell to the floor, dazed, but conscious, and looked up and said, "What was THAT?"

    I was stunned - I couldn't believe I did that -- then, looking around, thinking I was about to be attacked by every man in there for clubbing a woman, I noted they all had "queasy" looks on their faces, and had their hands over their private parts, like, "WOW, I FEEL ya, brother!" and were slowly backing away.

    My partner came over, helped me stand her up, and walked out of the bar -- and I remember that I never heard a bar so QUIET as that as we went out the door.

    She didn't break the skin, but I had a huge purple bruise where she bit me.


    The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

    Comment


    • #17
      So there I was, hanging about the police officer station having found yet another way to attract attention without actually doing any harm. I think this one mighta been about climbing that construction crane near the high school where they were installing new a/c units in the gym. Yeah, that was it. Amazing cool breeze about 250 feet up, nice break from a sweltering Chicago summer night, until the sky filled with spotlights on me ... but this story isn't about me.

      Actually, there were two stories not about me that night, one good cop story, and one bad copy story, but I'll let the bad cop story wait for another day. It wasn't all that bad, as bad cop stories go, anyway.

      Now understand I'd been taken way far away from my local precinct, on account of there only being one cop who felt a need to run me in, out of better than fifty on the ground when I managed to climb down to join them, forty-nine of whom were way too amused to want the bother, which is how I ended up downtown. Must have been a slow crime night, cause there were units there from all around the city. After the paperwork had been filed — climbing a 25-story crane being deemed "disorderly conduct" — and after I'd done an obligatory couple hours in lockup, the desk sergeant offered to run me home when he got off shift, which was still a couple hours off, but worth waiting for with the only other choice being hoofing it 15 miles back home, seeing as I'd handed off my wallet to a friend for the climb, so I didn't have bus fare.

      I got the impression he was cool when he greeted me with "Hey spiderman!" when I came through the front doors, so why not ask, right? Well, that and the standing O I got from the rest of the station as Officer Grumbly spun me around for everyone to catch my looks, giving me the idea that maybe I could find a sympathetic cop.

      But, seriously this isn't about me. This is just why I was sitting around a holding room for hours while folks came in and out.

      Good cop story, finally!

      So there's a young black guy they'd hauled in, along with another young black guy he'd had a disagreement with, in Grant Park, on a Saturday night. Just the two of them. Yeah, that.

      They were giving the victim grief getting the report out of him, but managed it eventually, and I was all set to thinking they were going to brush it all off, by the book, when good cop came in, chasing all the other cops out of the room. I guess I didn't matter.

      Then good cop starts talking to the guy, with care and compassion and understanding, coaxing out of him what anybody who knows who's in Grant Park on a Saturday night would know. Yeah, he was gay, looking to pay for some action, and got robbed instead.

      And I'm like, wow, I didn't know there were cops that cool in Chicago.

      And then he asked if he'd already paid the guy. Yup.

      And how much. $10.

      And then good cop says that's what he pulled off the guy, and handed it over, and told him he was free to go.

      Comment


      • #18
        It's well known that there are physiological factors at work when somebody is doing something extremely stressful.

        A guy robbing a bank for the first time, for example, will often experience actual "tunnel vision" and impaired hearing.

        Such a guy came into a local bank, a small bank (more like a savings and loan), where only a couple tellers were working, and no other customers in the bank.

        He was very obviously nervous, had his hand in his pocket claiming to have a gun, but from the teller's viewpoint, it looked like his hand was just "in the shape of a gun", with the barrel of the gun being his finger, aiming his jacket pocket at the teller.

        She had been at the bank for nearly 30 years, and nothing really seemed to fluster her. She told the man he needed to calm down, but they only had a small amount of cash available because "yesterday was payday". He ordered her to put all the money in a bag, and hand him the bag. She opened the drawer, and started to pull out money, including the "trap money" that set off the silent alarm. We'll call her Betty.

        Betty started stuffing the money into a night deposit bag, but as he looked around to see if the cops were coming, she switched bags and handed him the replacement. He grabbed it, and ran out of the bank.

        Right after that, just before we arrived, a customer walked in, and asked Betty, "was that Ben Wilson that just ran out of here?" (made up name, but the customer knew the robber) "He sure seemed to be in a hurry!"

        As we arrived, he had already fled, but there was clear video of him, and another bank employee got his license plate number and description of his vehicle, and the customer told us who the man was and where he lived.

        I asked "how much did he get". Betty smiled and said, "Virginia, what all was in your diaper bag?" Virginia, quite 'great with child', replied, "2 cans of formula, two empty baby bottles, some Huggies, and a breast pump". Then Betty showed me the bag of money still on her counter.

        We laughed, and began to ponder what we could charge the robber with, as another unit was already heading to his house to collect him and bring him in.

        The DA said, "the best we can do is charge him with attempted robbery and aggravated gross stupidity".

        "Ben Wilson" did 90 days in county jail, 200 hours of community service, and 5 years probation. He was, after that, a "model citizen".

        The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

        Comment


        • #19
          More "Stupid Criminals".


          Silent alarm went off at a local business about 3 AM.

          We arrived too late, somebody had cut some copper lines, and stolen them, so we assumed a pickup truck, at least.

          Fresh tire tracks in the dirt, so a fellow officer was about to call the Crime Scene people to come out and take plaster castings of the tire tracks, from which we can often tell a lot about the vehicle. Before he did, a brand new rookie stepped in and said, "OR, we can just look through his wallet and find out who he was".

          We all looked at him like "WHAT?" He pointed to the ground next to the tire tracks, and there, indeed, was a wallet laying in the dirt.

          Gloves on, pick up the wallet, his identification inside, along with some suspicious sequentially numbered $20 bills. Calling a couple of the serial numbers into dispatch, it was discovered they came from a bank in Dallas, and were part of an "inside job" robbery there.

          Unmarked car sent to his home, he's not there, but after about an hour of waiting, pickup truck pulls into the driveway. Loaded with copper cable.

          Sgt Schmidt walks up to the guy's driver window and says, "Not only do we have you for the copper theft, but how bout that bank in Dallas?" The guy shoots back "Wait, How did you know about THAT", unwittingly admitting he was involved.

          I love it when the criminals do our work for us!

          The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
            More "Stupid Criminals".


            Silent alarm went off at a local business about 3 AM.

            We arrived too late, somebody had cut some copper lines, and stolen them, so we assumed a pickup truck, at least.

            Fresh tire tracks in the dirt, so a fellow officer was about to call the Crime Scene people to come out and take plaster castings of the tire tracks, from which we can often tell a lot about the vehicle. Before he did, a brand new rookie stepped in and said, "OR, we can just look through his wallet and find out who he was".

            We all looked at him like "WHAT?" He pointed to the ground next to the tire tracks, and there, indeed, was a wallet laying in the dirt.

            Gloves on, pick up the wallet, his identification inside, along with some suspicious sequentially numbered $20 bills. Calling a couple of the serial numbers into dispatch, it was discovered they came from a bank in Dallas, and were part of an "inside job" robbery there.

            Unmarked car sent to his home, he's not there, but after about an hour of waiting, pickup truck pulls into the driveway. Loaded with copper cable.

            Sgt Schmidt walks up to the guy's driver window and says, "Not only do we have you for the copper theft, but how bout that bank in Dallas?" The guy shoots back "Wait, How did you know about THAT", unwittingly admitting he was involved.

            I love it when the criminals do our work for us!
            When I was an army brat living in a US base in Germany, someone robbed the PX (Post Exchange - a dept store) and hid the loot behind a dumpster probably wanting to come back later to get it. Unfortunately the MP's found it first, and it was in a duffel bag with his name on it.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Sparko View Post
              When I was an army brat living in a US base in Germany, someone robbed the PX (Post Exchange - a dept store) and hid the loot behind a dumpster probably wanting to come back later to get it. Unfortunately the MP's found it first, and it was in a duffel bag with his name on it.
              He was just being helpful!
              The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post

                He was just being helpful!
                If criminals were smart, they would be politicians.

                Comment


                • #23
                  One of my favorite things to do in a traffic stop was to NOT tell the person why they were being stopped.

                  Instead, I'd ask "do you know why I stopped you"?

                  And, more than a few times, the answer would be something like, "it's that warrant from New York, isn't it?"

                  The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
                    One of my favorite things to do in a traffic stop was to NOT tell the person why they were being stopped.

                    Instead, I'd ask "do you know why I stopped you"?

                    And, more than a few times, the answer would be something like, "it's that warrant from New York, isn't it?"

                    I would say, "Why? Don't you know? If you don't know then why did you stop me?

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Sparko View Post

                      I would say, "Why? Don't you know? If you don't know then why did you stop me?
                      And I would say, "well, smarty britches, I was just going to give you a verbal warning, but I'm suddenly in the mood to utilize my ticket book!"

                      Seriously, as a rule, I always tried to know ahead of time if I was going to issue a warning or a ticket --- it was only when somebody was extremely polite or extremely rude that I would change my mind about which to do.
                      The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post

                        And I would say, "well, smarty britches, I was just going to give you a verbal warning, but I'm suddenly in the mood to utilize my ticket book!"

                        Seriously, as a rule, I always tried to know ahead of time if I was going to issue a warning or a ticket --- it was only when somebody was extremely polite or extremely rude that I would change my mind about which to do.
                        Yeah? Well how are you gonna give me a ticket if you don't know why you even pulled me over? Huh?

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Sparko View Post

                          Yeah? Well how are you gonna give me a ticket if you don't know why you even pulled me over? Huh?
                          Like one of my Scottish Police Academy Instructors would say.....

                          "Tis a poor policeman who can't think up a charge between the time of the arrest, and the time you get back to the station, even if you have to drive around the block a few times".
                          The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            On a serious note - in our CRASE training last night, I learned something new.

                            Something I "knew", but didn't realize how it came to be.

                            Before Columbine, pretty much all Police Training on mass shootings used the standard "arrow" or "diamond" formation, where 3 or 4 cops would enter, form an arrow (if 3) or diamond (if 4) and methodically work their way toward the shooter, checking doorways, rooms, hallways as they moved. As a matter of fact, they were not permitted to enter unless there were at LEAST 3 or 4 officers.

                            Since Columbine, the training has changed that, in an active shooter situation, there is zero hesitancy, no waiting for backup - the first officer on the scene moves as quickly as he can toward the gunfire to neutralize the threat, even bypassing wounded, or persons asking for help, just yelling for students (or whoever) to move quickly to the outside --- and the officer just keeps moving to stop the killing as soon as he/she can.

                            The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post

                              Like one of my Scottish Police Academy Instructors would say.....

                              "Tis a poor policeman who can't think up a charge between the time of the arrest, and the time you get back to the station, even if you have to drive around the block a few times".
                              PLM! Pirate Lives Matter!

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                AGAIN, "tunnel vision" in criminals....

                                My partner and I were having dinner in a "Denny's like" restaurant, our patrol vehicle just outside the main entry, both of us in uniform.
                                I always sit "facing the door" in a restaurant, usually my back to a wall.

                                In this case, we were in a booth, I was facing the door, and there was a half-high wall with some fake ferns in it on the "door side" of the booth.
                                I had to kind of "sit up" to see over it, but it would be difficult for anybody to see us sitting there without walking all the way into the restaurant.

                                As John and I are eating and talking, a guy wearing a black ski mask enters the restaurant, goes to the cash register stand, pulls out a gun, and demands money.
                                I tell John, "do NOT turn around, do not make a sound", and I motion for the customers who see what's going on "shhhhhh", and give them the "wait a minute" sign.

                                I radio '10-92 our 47, RS' - armed robbery in progress where we called out for meal break, radio silence.
                                (I turned my radio down so the robber wouldn't hear it, and dispatch would know I'm not "on the air" to take questions - I'll give updates when I can)
                                (These days, police wear earbuds for that purpose - they can hear radio traffic, but nobody around can -- we didn't have those back then)

                                The LAST thing we want is a shootout in a crowded restaurant, so we want to let him get back outside, and I had already radioed for backup.
                                The cashier glances at me, and I just motion for her to hand over the money, and "shhhhh"....

                                Fortunately, everybody plays along, and the guy is so nervous and intent on what he's doing that he doesn't see us right there about 8 feet away.

                                The cashier empties the money into a "to go" bag, and he grabs it and runs outside, where two city officers, two DPS officers, and 3 or 4 sheriff's deputies are waiting, guns drawn.

                                He panics, and turns to come back in the restaurant, but John and I are at the entry, guns drawn, ordering him to drop the gun and the bag.
                                (John actually reaches out and takes the gun from his hand)
                                He quickly complies, and the restaurant erupts in applause.

                                We bring him back inside, handcuffed, and begin the process of counting the money to establish the degree of theft, but he's already good for armed robbery.

                                Finally calmed down, he looks around and asks "how did you guys get here so fast?"

                                I pointed to our booth - at that point we were standing right next to it - and said "we were sitting here having dinner the whole time".

                                I often think that that physiological "tunnel vision" is a gift from God to help cops catch people doing really stupid stuff.


                                The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                                Comment

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