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Your most despised Christmas songs.

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  • Your most despised Christmas songs.

    These are festive days for some indeed. However, there are some songs that, lets admit, brings out that inner Grinch.

    So I am curious.... which ones provoke ire in thee and why? For me:

    -Jingle Bells.

    GAAAAAAAHHHH, so monotonic, an insult to mine ears!

    -Feliz Navidad, by José Feliciano.

    The man is a wonderful musician, and makes beautiful boleros. But this.... hideousness from 44 years ago, marks a low point in his compositional skills. It is so lyrically repetitive, it's like he had to slash half of his I/Q just to utter those words.

    So let's spread the hate! Heheheheheheheheheheheh.

    broadway_grinch_650X370-1.jpg
    Last edited by Andius; 12-24-2014, 02:35 AM.
    Ladino, Guatemalan, Hispanic, and Latin, but foremostly, Christian.

  • #2
    The BoneyM versions.
    "If you can ever make any major religion look absolutely ludicrous, chances are you haven't understood it"
    -Ravi Zacharias, The New Age: A foreign bird with a local walk

    Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
    1 Corinthians 16:13

    "...he [Doherty] is no historian and he is not even conversant with the historical discussions of the very matters he wants to pontificate on."
    -Ben Witherington III

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Raphael View Post
      The BoneyM versions.
      I was actually curious what that sounded like... oooh that was a mistake.... to quote Balin; "That's not a song, IT'S AN ABOMINATION!!!".

      Mary's boy and Feliz Navidad are the worst of the lot
      Ladino, Guatemalan, Hispanic, and Latin, but foremostly, Christian.

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      • #4
        That ridiculous "Christmas Shoes" song.

        As I said in a Forge post some years back:

        It doesn’t help that the entertainment is generally no less vapid than at other times of the year. If I had an option to banish one Christmas song from the radio airwaves, it would be that nauseating ditty by NewSong, “The Christmas Shoes,” with its sentimentality of convenience, and its Joel Osteen “God will find you a parking space” theology:

        I knew that God had sent that little boy
        To remind me just what Christmas is all about.

        Hum. So God is in the business of being a post-it note to compensate for your moral failures? You needed this as a reminder, when as a disciple you should have known “what Christmas is all about” long before this? And He was so busy with this that He forgot to feed the hungry and stuff like that? Yep. God the micromanager again.

        One of these days, I’ll have to write a parody of this song in which, the day after Christmas, the singer turns on the news to discover that the “little boy” was actually an adult criminal named Joe “Baby Face” Sheen, who later went out to sell those shoes to an undercover narc, hoping to buy some crack cocaine with the profits.

        It’s tempting. You don’t know HOW tempting.


        http://tektonforge.blogspot.com/2010...e-humbugs.html
        Last edited by jpholding; 12-24-2014, 06:36 AM.

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        • #5
          I Saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus always bugged me.

          I'm always still in trouble again

          "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
          "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

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          • #6
            Away in the Manger. Too kitsch and saccharine.

            Comment


            • #7
              The Hippopotamus song.
              That's what
              - She

              Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals
              - Manya the Holy Szin (The Quintara Marathon)

              I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common
              Stephen R. Donaldson

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              • #8
                No Christmas song is worse than Sleigh Ride. (I'm pretty sure that belief was made dogma at the Council of Nicea or something.) Inventing words like "ring ting tingling?" What friends call to you with the salutation "Yoo-hoo?" This song is an abomination that must be stopped. We need to baptize the radio waves by cleansing them of this atrocity.
                Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.--Isaiah 1:17

                I don't think that all forms o[f] slavery are inherently immoral.--seer

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                • #9
                  Pornographic Christmas songs like Dashing Through the Snow.

                  I mean, come on... how else would they know her Fanny was Bright?
                  "Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”

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                  • #10
                    Santa Baby. Just shut up already, please.
                    Last edited by Zymologist; 12-24-2014, 01:03 PM.
                    I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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                    • #11
                      My vote is in for Feliz Navidad.
                      Also All I want for Christmas is You.
                      And umm......Santa Baby is cute, but I really prefer the Original Version with Eartha Kitt. I don't like the remakes.
                      A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
                      George Bernard Shaw

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                      • #12
                        I used to highly dislike the 12 Days of Christmas until I heard this version:



                        Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Catholicity View Post
                          Santa Baby is cute
                          I'm sorry, but you're mistaken about this.
                          I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Baby, it's Cold Outside has some creepy inferences to it. The whole idea of a guy keeping his girlfriend from leaving his house just sounds creepy.
                            If it weren't for the Resurrection of Jesus, we'd all be in DEEP TROUBLE!

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                            • #15
                              Anything with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in it. Rudolph did not exist in my early Christmas. When he joined the seasonal melee I never could accept him.
                              Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

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