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Global outrage levels 'may reach point of no return'

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  • Global outrage levels 'may reach point of no return'

    The UN Panel on Outrage Change has confirmed the worst: global levels of outrage may reach the point of no return in 2020.

    Outrage levels previously reached dangerous highs during the Bush administration, but Obama was able to reverse the trend. He didn't change much about the way Bush was handling things, but he was a Democrat, so outrage levels went back down as the press stopped reporting on scandals and corruption.

    However, in 2016, global outrage reached record highs, especially among Democrats. Republicans had been mildly outraged during the Obama years but mostly had to go to work so didn't have much time to spew toxic, harmful outrage into the environment. Libertarians have generated almost no outrage since they are high all the time.

    Experts believe the reelection of Trump in 2020 would be "catastrophic," catapulting outrage levels well into the stratosphere.

    "If we do not cut our anger emissions immediately, the world will be consumed by fiery outrage by the end of next year," said outrage expert Dr. Hal Gourd, pointing to a hockey-stick graph.

    Experts recommend everyone stop "yelling and stuff," so we can prolong our inevitable death by outrage a few years. Those who do not wish to stop being outraged can purchase "outrage credits," generated by people who are just chillin'.

    https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-...return-in-2020
    Happy New Year, everyone.
    Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.

  • #2
    If the outrage levels continue unabated, residents of coastal blue cities will need to relocate to safer zones inland.

    Comment


    • #3
      There is no Global Outrage, just Emotional Change.

      Comment

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