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It seems the old adage is true...money cannot guarantee happiness

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  • It seems the old adage is true...money cannot guarantee happiness

    As someone who is thoroughly enjoying series three of Succession and the ineffectual and narcissistic Roy "brats" [not to mention all the other über-rich wastes of space] I found this very interesting, especially the comments on boredom. I daresay many of us have dreamed of the good we could do, were we in the position of having billions at our disposal.

    As it is we have these ludicrous characters in the series and their equally ridiculous real-life counterparts some of whom who spend billions firing themselves into space to joy ride for a few minutes.

    Perhaps such individuals deserve pity as well as contempt.

    https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...n-billionaires

    I’m a therapist to the super-rich: they are as miserable as Succession makes out

    If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the term “first world problems”, my bank account would look similar to those of my clients. I work as a psychotherapist and my specialism is ultra-high net worth individuals.

    I got into working with billionaires by accident. I had one wealthy client, who passed my name around to their acquaintances. They are called the 1% for a reason: there are not that many of them and so the circle is tight.

    Over the years, I have developed a great deal of empathy for those who have far too much. The television programme Succession, now in its third season, does such a good job of exploring the kinds of toxic excess my clients struggle with that when my wife is watching it I have to leave the room; it just feels like work.

    What could possibly be challenging about being a billionaire, you might ask. Well, what would it be like if you couldn’t trust those close to you? Or if you looked at any new person in your life with deep suspicion? I hear this from my clients all the time: “What do they want from me?”; or “How are they going to manipulate me?”; or “They are probably only friends with me because of my money.”

    Then there are the struggles with purpose – the depression that sets in when you feel like you have no reason to get out of bed. Why bother going to work when the business you have built or inherited runs itself without you now? If all your necessities and much more were covered for the rest of your life – you might struggle with a lack of meaning and ambition too. My clients are often bored with life and too many times this leads to them chasing the next high – chemically or otherwise – to fill that void.

    Most of the people I see are much more willing to talk about their sex lives or substance-misuse problems than their bank accounts. Money is seen as dirty and secret. Money is awkward to talk about. Money is wrapped up in guilt, shame, and fear. There is a perception that money can immunise you against mental-health problems when actually, I believe that wealth can make you – and the people closest to you – much more susceptible to them.

    I see family situations like those in Succession all the time. People like the series’ lead character, Logan Roy, who came from humble beginnings to create an incredibly successful media empire. His entire life has been focused on his business. However, it is evident that he has failed miserably at raising fully functioning children.

    Too many of my clients want to indulge their children so “they never have to suffer what I had to suffer” while growing up. But the result is that they prevent their children from experiencing the very things that made them successful: sacrifice, hard work, overcoming failure and developing resilience. An over-indulged child develops into an entitled adult who has low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and a complete lack of grit.

    These very wealthy children start out by going to elite boarding schools and move on to elite universities – developing a language and culture among their own kind. Rarely do they create friendships with non-wealthy people; this can lead to feelings of isolation and being trapped inside a very small bubble.

    There are few people in the world to whom they can actually relate, which of course leads to a lack of empathy. The next time you watch Succession, see how the Roys interact with their staff and others outside their circle. Notice the awkwardness and lack of human connection and how dreadfully they treat each other. It’s fascinating and frightening. When one leads a life without consequences (for being rude to a waiter or cruel to a sibling, for example) there really is no reason to not do these things. After a while, it becomes normalised and accepted. Living a life without rules isn’t good for anyone.

    Succession is built on the idea of a group of wealthy children vying for who will take the mantle from their father – none of them are able to convince him that they can do it. And that is because they have reached adulthood completely unprepared to take on any responsibility. The wealthy parents I see, often because of their own guilt and shame, are not preparing their children for the challenges of managing their wealth. There is truth in the old adage “shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves in three generations”. On numerous occasions the child of a wealthy family has said to me: “We never talked about money. I don’t know how much there is or what I’m supposed to do with it. I don’t know how to take care of it. It’s all so secret and dirty.”

    I was raised in a small town in rural Kentucky, solidly in the middle class. And it can be very difficult to watch these individuals struggle with the toxicity of excess, isolation and deep mistrust. Succession is a dramatised version of the world they operate in – it is made for television and part of its purpose is to give audiences the pleasure of watching the wealthy struggle. But for someone who has worked with them, I know that their challenges are real and profound.


    "It ain't necessarily so
    The things that you're liable
    To read in the Bible
    It ain't necessarily so
    ."

    Sportin' Life
    Porgy & Bess, DuBose Heyward, George & Ira Gershwin

  • #2
    As one person said, "I've been rich and miserable, and I've been poor and miserable. I prefer rich and miserable."
    Some may call me foolish, and some may call me odd
    But I'd rather be a fool in the eyes of man
    Than a fool in the eyes of God


    From "Fools Gold" by Petra

    Comment


    • #3
      There is a reason that the traditional wedding vow includes "for richer, for poorer." Wealth can induce a lot of stress.




      In the end I still agree with MM though.

      I'm always still in trouble again

      "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
      "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
      "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

      Comment


      • #4
        Well, that is her opinion. It's a shame she has to resort to appeal to status, but there it is.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Mountain Man View Post
          As one person said, "I've been rich and miserable, and I've been poor and miserable. I prefer rich and miserable."
          Yes I suppose being rich allows one to miserable in comfort!
          "It ain't necessarily so
          The things that you're liable
          To read in the Bible
          It ain't necessarily so
          ."

          Sportin' Life
          Porgy & Bess, DuBose Heyward, George & Ira Gershwin

          Comment


          • #6


            What an absurd blanket statement in the OP title that implies that money can never guarantee happiness, which ignores the people for whom it does.
            "So when you actually get the virus, you're going to start producing antibodies against multiple pieces of the virus. So, your antibodies are probably better at that point than the vaccination."
            - Pfizer Scientist Chris Croce

            Comment


            • #7
              Joy is so superior to happiness, that one can have joy even in sadness.
              The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
                Joy is so superior to happiness, that one can have joy even in sadness.
                Happiness happens because of happenings.

                Joy happens regardless of happenings.


                Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Gondwanaland View Post

                  What an absurd blanket statement in the OP title that implies that money can never guarantee happiness, which ignores the people for whom it does.
                  Yup. It's just the sort of generalized over-simplified statements that she loves to kvetch about.

                  I'm always still in trouble again

                  "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
                  "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
                  "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Gondwanaland View Post

                    What an absurd blanket statement in the OP title that implies that money can never guarantee happiness, which ignores the people for whom it does.
                    Interestingly enough, a VERY wealthy man (who is now on his death bed) experienced true joy and happiness in GIVIG AWAY his money to people in need, and I often got to be the conduit for that.

                    Giving away HIS money even gave ME Joy!!!
                    The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by rogue06 View Post
                      Yup. It's just the sort of generalized over-simplified statements that she loves to kvetch about.
                      The VERY NEXT post I read....

                      Originally posted by Hypatia_Alexandria View Post
                      That is a very generalised statement.
                      The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Gondwanaland View Post

                        What an absurd blanket statement in the OP title that implies that money can never guarantee happiness, which ignores the people for whom it does.
                        Money cannot guarantee happiness.
                        "It ain't necessarily so
                        The things that you're liable
                        To read in the Bible
                        It ain't necessarily so
                        ."

                        Sportin' Life
                        Porgy & Bess, DuBose Heyward, George & Ira Gershwin

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post

                          Interestingly enough, a VERY wealthy man (who is now on his death bed) experienced true joy and happiness in GIVIG AWAY his money to people in need, and I often got to be the conduit for that.

                          Giving away HIS money even gave ME Joy!!!
                          Now that is something worthwhile, rather as the Gates have done.

                          If you have wealth use it to help others.
                          "It ain't necessarily so
                          The things that you're liable
                          To read in the Bible
                          It ain't necessarily so
                          ."

                          Sportin' Life
                          Porgy & Bess, DuBose Heyward, George & Ira Gershwin

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by rogue06 View Post
                            Yup. It's just the sort of generalized over-simplified statements that she loves to kvetch about.
                            There was a qualification in the thread title. There is no guarantee that money will bring happiness.

                            After all we've all seen Citizen Kane!
                            "It ain't necessarily so
                            The things that you're liable
                            To read in the Bible
                            It ain't necessarily so
                            ."

                            Sportin' Life
                            Porgy & Bess, DuBose Heyward, George & Ira Gershwin

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Hypatia_Alexandria View Post

                              Money cannot guarantee happiness.
                              That's a very generalized statement that ignores the people for which money has guaranteed happiness.
                              "So when you actually get the virus, you're going to start producing antibodies against multiple pieces of the virus. So, your antibodies are probably better at that point than the vaccination."
                              - Pfizer Scientist Chris Croce

                              Comment

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