Depression?

[GoBahnsen]

this place is nuts, but i've found a lot of help here through the years. People who are jerks in such an overt manner are stamping their forehead as such and should be ignored like that pimple you see on your face in the mirror as an adult and you're like "oh for goodness sakes, are you really on my face? I'm not even going to pay attention to this it's just way too ludicrous to even think about"

yes, i've actually said that to a pimple : )

[GoBahnsen]

oh boy I understand. Change is hard and we can't see that in the future we'll probably not even think about how hard it was because we'll be enjoying the fruits of the present change. A painful process but temporary until the goal is met. That's certain.

Well said my friend. I think that is right on the money.

I smoked one or two cigarettes a night after the children were asleep as a reward to calm me after a hectic day. I broke the cigarette habit (2 years ago) but not the pyschological one b/c i've replaced them with electronic cigarettes. My point is that now i want to quit the electronic cigarettes because I don't feel good when I use it but i cant stop as there is nothing to replace the inhaling sensation with. I don't think its the nicotene but I could be wrong.

I know the smoking thing too. My dad was a life long smoker. Growing up I thot to myself...I don't want that stuff. I dabbled with it here and there at times, just for fun. I used to grab some smokes if I had to drive a long way. Kept me awake, especially at night.

Recently in 2010 I was working a job that took me away from home. It was November. It was dark early, cold at night...I was bored. So I got some smokes. They were so good and I didn't have to worry about the smell on me, etc. (my wife HATES them). But I ended up getting kind of addicted. I never wanted to be seen smoking because I thot it looked dumb. So I would go to different spots, away from everyone and light up. And I felt like I had some really inspiring reflective thinking going on. I stood there and smoke 3 in a row.

I ended up smoking a pack every 2 or 3 days for 2 years. They especially helped me when my folks were dying. After they were gone, I finally quit cold turkey, September 2012.
So I know the smoking thing pretty well. I wish they were healthy, I'd smoke a pack a day.

With beer, there is a liquid replacement you can use that is healthy

What is it? Give it to me!

,

I do wish you the best in finding that replacement soon and that it will turn into a new healthy habit for you. But I know it's probably a combination of things that cause us to feel down sometimes, and this is just one. It certainly is for me as well.

I don't think there is a replacement for beer. There are all kinds of things to drink though. I tried some diet Coke just to feel like I was cheating. I liked it, but it did not like me. It gave me brain fog and made me feel weird. More so if I abused and had 3 or 4 in an afternoon. So I quit those too.

I loved reading about when you were in the country, it was a beautiful vivid memory, I felt myself there! Thank you for sharing.

I will share another story soon. It's a story about a park, a BBQ and 5 beers. Good talking with you

[GoBahnsen]

Here's another country story: Years ago when we had one kid and one on the way, we were out camping in our favorite area in Santa Barbara County. They have a park out in the hills with a waterfall you can hike to. We decided to have BBQ at the picnic tables.

I was in this School of Ministry studying to become a pastor. The church we were in was the kind that frowned on alcohol so I hadn't had any for several years. But I did have these old Heineken Darks, 5 of em, and I brought em along.

At the start of the BBQ I opened one and drank it down. It tasted like heaven. We would go on to have the best BBQ we ever had. Baked potatoes wrapped in foil buried in the coals. Sourdough bread heated up...Everything just came out perfect.

I finished up all 5 of those dark beers and I felt like I was on top of the world. As we drove off later on, I looked back over the oak studded countryside and I said to myself "I will be back soon."

Prior to that trip we might only go up there once every couple of years. A 3 hour drive was a long way for us. But after that BBQ I went back, whether the family wanted to come along or not...I went.

I went about 300 times in a 15 year stretch. I'd go practically every other week. I would try to re-create the BBQ in the park, even by myself. It never was quite the same. But I still love that place and I love that park. And that's where I still do my scenic bike riding, up in beautiful Santa Ynez Valley. Just not every other week anymore.

How about you princesa? Any happy memories or places you go that keep depression from getting the better of ya?

[princesa]

oh I was just coming back to ask if you were feeling in better spirits today and saw I missed these posts. Thank you. I know what you mean about it not being the same when you went back. There is something we can't quite put our finger on, maybe it's the expectation not the same, could be that 'first time' experience of wonder, that just can't be recreated. I know each time was a wonderful time in it's own way.

We go upstate every summer with the family. It is a wonderful time. We stay at the lake and it is just the four of us. We may not be able to go this year but I will try my best. I'm really working on my sense of dependence on God at the moment. A lot of things aren't what they used to be for me, and I now know I need to rely on God for peace and companionship, and wisdom to get through each day.

As a side note, completed unrelated on the outset, I don't know how extroverts do it....I love just being in peace and quiet, having a happy home, just the four of us. It's sad when I think that may not be enough for someone else.

[GoBahnsen]

oh I was just coming back to ask if you were feeling in better spirits today and saw I missed these posts. Thank you. I know what you mean about it not being the same when you went back. There is something we can't quite put our finger on, maybe it's the expectation not the same, could be that 'first time' experience of wonder, that just can't be recreated. I know each time was a wonderful time in it's own way.

We go upstate every summer with the family. It is a wonderful time. We stay at the lake and it is just the four of us. We may not be able to go this year but I will try my best. I'm really working on my sense of dependence on God at the moment. A lot of things aren't what they used to be for me, and I now know I need to rely on God for peace and companionship, and wisdom to get through each day.

As a side note, completed unrelated on the outset, I don't know how extroverts do it....I love just being in peace and quiet, having a happy home, just the four of us. It's sad when I think that may not be enough for someone else.

Oh I'm doin pretty good all things considered. It takes time to break old habits. That's what I have heard. If I break my current one it will be my first

I think about having a beer, but I never liked A beer or one beer. I mean I like the way one tastes, but it's like eating one potato chip...who needs it? Or for you...who wants one puff of a cigarette? You get the taste going, the feel...and then you're left hanging there ?? No thank you.

But if I have a few, then my diet is in the toilet for the day. And I don't sleep as good. I feel guilty. I wake up sluggish. Too many cons, not enough pros.

That's great that you guys have a special place to go to. I hope you get to go there often. Yep, we all need to learn to rely on God more, day by day. Glad you're learning that. I think God uses depression to get us to remember that we aren't in heaven yet. Hang in there friend.

[GoBahnsen]

I am getting depressed that the depression thread isn't moving. It's really depressing!

I am going to try an experiment, but I don't think it will work. Here goes: Hi Sparko

My guess is that Sparko will not post. And that's depressing too

[GoBahnsen]

Good morning John. You there Sparko? Good morning! This is so depressing...

[GoBahnsen]

Good night Sparko

[GoBahnsen]

[GoBahnsen]

Good night Sparko

[GoBahnsen]

GoBahnsen continues to battle his depression....good morning Sparko

[princesa]

My girlfiends used to tell me "if he ignores you forget him! You're all sad and he's probably out there having the time of his life!!!"

[GoBahnsen]

My girlfiends used to tell me "if he ignores you forget him! You're all sad and he's probably out there having the time of his life!!!"

Are you talking about Sparko? He probably hasn't even looked in here. Hopefully he will be amused if he ever finds it. Probably not though...ooooh, that's depressing.

[princesa]

lol! you are funny. :)

edit-and there's nothing depressing about you being funny try as you might!

[GoBahnsen]

lol! you are funny. :)

edit-and there's nothing depressing about you being funny try as you might!

Awwww thnx! Someone was nice to GoBahnsen. Wow. I feel strangely warm inside.