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"The Spectrum"

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  • "The Spectrum"

    So, my cousin suggested I get evaluated for autism. I took this online test, and it said I scored a 29. Since my score was in the 26-32 range, it suggests I may have Edited by a Moderator

    I'm taking the results as seriously as that comment suggests.

    (FWIW, I'm taking more seriously my results on the "MDI" developed by WHO.)

    Moderated By: Sparko

    No profanity allowed even in jokes. The word should have been "Asperger's" for those reading along

    ***If you wish to take issue with this notice DO NOT do so in this thread.***
    Contact the forum moderator or an administrator in Private Message or email instead. If you feel you must publicly complain or whine, please take it to the Padded Room unless told otherwise.

    Last edited by Sparko; 09-26-2022, 06:37 AM.
    Geislerminian Antinomian Kenotic Charispneumaticostal Gender Mutualist-Egalitarian.

    Beige Federalist.

    Nationalist Christian.

    "Everybody is somebody's heretic."

    Social Justice is usually the opposite of actual justice.

    Proud member of the this space left blank community.

    Would-be Grand Vizier of the Padishah Maxi-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Mega-MAGA King Trumpius Rex.

    Justice for Ashli Babbitt!

    Justice for Matthew Perna!

    Arrest Ray Epps and his Fed bosses!

  • #2
    Online tests are unreliable. Best to talk to your doctor about any potential neurodivergence. Pretty sure many twebbers aren't neurotypical anyway.
    If it weren't for the Resurrection of Jesus, we'd all be in DEEP TROUBLE!

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by NorrinRadd View Post
      So, my cousin suggested I get evaluated for autism. I took this online test, and it said I scored a 29. Since my score was in the 26-32 range, it suggests I may have Edited by a Moderator

      I'm taking the results as seriously as that comment suggests.

      (FWIW, I'm taking more seriously my results on the "MDI" developed by WHO.)
      I have to guess they are using the AQ 50 from the link you gave. I scored a 36 on that particular test, and I was officially diagnosed with autism earlier this year. There are some more thorough tests out there like the RAADS-R, and The Aspie Quiz. There are a whole host of tests related to neurodivergence at Embrace Autism. Their blog posts are definitely left leaning, but the tests are from a wide variety of sources, and some of the official tests used by psychologists use some of the same questions and reasoning. The official test included those kind of questions, an IQ test, some memory tests, and a test designed to see how well you can concentrate. That last one is to rule out or confirm ADHD, which is commonly comorbid with ASD.

      Given the context of your post the MDI is the Major Depression Index. I hadn't heard of it before, but neurodivergence and depression often fit hand in hand, so I thought it was relevant. IMO it would be a good idea to take both of them seriously. Being neurodivergent and not knowing it can end very poorly either for you, or those around you. In my case it has been a mix of both.

      Oh, and as Christianbookworm pointed out there are quite a few neurodivergent people on TWeb. I've been on here for over ten years now I think, and even before I ever suspected I was autistic I noticed that there were much more neurodivergent people here than you typically find in other locations that are not themed around neurodivergence. Or at the very minimum they were much more open about it than in other places. I suspect a bit of both. TWeb almost seems to attract autistics like a a bug zapper attracts bugs.

      Obviously I can't diagnose you since I'm not a doctor, but given what I know about you it wouldn't surprise me, even a little. If you do decide to take this more seriously I'm more than willing to share more resources and explain what I do know. A couple years of research and you can learn a lot of things with regards to a topic.
      Last edited by Sparko; 09-26-2022, 06:38 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Cerebrum123 View Post

        I have to guess they are using the AQ 50 from the link you gave. I scored a 36 on that particular test, and I was officially diagnosed with autism earlier this year. There are some more thorough tests out there like the RAADS-R, and The Aspie Quiz. There are a whole host of tests related to neurodivergence at Embrace Autism. Their blog posts are definitely left leaning, but the tests are from a wide variety of sources, and some of the official tests used by psychologists use some of the same questions and reasoning. The official test included those kind of questions, an IQ test, some memory tests, and a test designed to see how well you can concentrate. That last one is to rule out or confirm ADHD, which is commonly comorbid with ASD.
        I used to love IQ tests. I dread the thought of them now. I would not be surprised if my IQ, at least as would be measured by a standardized test, has dropped 25 points or more since late in high school (ca. late '70s).

        Many days my concentration is really craptacular. Even with subjects that interest me, I can sometimes barely make it to the end of a one-page article. That is *much* in contrast to the situation before middle age. In younger days, I could focus almost obsessively on a book or project for many hours. I blame it at least partly on "screens." Over the past 30 years, I've unintentionally trained my brain to bippity-bop among two separate browsers comprising ten windows and several hundred "tabs," plus a Bible program, plus the TV on a totally separate screen. Thank God I've never had or wanted a "smart phone."

        Given the context of your post the MDI is the Major Depression Index. I hadn't heard of it before, but neurodivergence and depression often fit hand in hand, so I thought it was relevant. IMO it would be a good idea to take both of them seriously. Being neurodivergent and not knowing it can end very poorly either for you, or those around you. In my case it has been a mix of both.
        Right on the meaning of MDI. My cousin has been urging me to see someone about depression for a while. I've been resisting and muddling, mainly because of lack of insurance until recently. Now I'm working on setting up an appointment. Most of the places recommended by my provider are not taking new patients. I *had* wanted to get a basic look-over by my PCP first, but she has no openings until a week into November. Without going into detail, I've been having enough trouble navigating daily life that I don't want to wait that long. (Ok, I'll give one detail that really got my attention: A few days ago, I was going to make some iced tea "the hard way" -- brew tea and chill it. The thought of that little bit of planning and effort was so daunting, I briefly felt like crying. That is wack.)

        Oh, and as Christianbookworm pointed out there are quite a few neurodivergent people on TWeb. I've been on here for over ten years now I think, and even before I ever suspected I was autistic I noticed that there were much more neurodivergent people here than you typically find in other locations that are not themed around neurodivergence. Or at the very minimum they were much more open about it than in other places. I suspect a bit of both. TWeb almost seems to attract autistics like a a bug zapper attracts bugs.
        I may have a wider view of what constitutes "normal" as opposed to "neurodivergent" than some people. Everyone here seems relatively "normal" to me.


        Obviously I can't diagnose you since I'm not a doctor, but given what I know about you it wouldn't surprise me, even a little. If you do decide to take this more seriously I'm more than willing to share more resources and explain what I do know. A couple years of research and you can learn a lot of things with regards to a topic.
        The AQ test is the only one I've done related to autism. In addition to the MDI, I've recently done the Beck tests for depression and anxiety. I've also done a few other anxiety tests. They (anxiety tests) are annoying, because my results are way less consistent among them. And on one page, I started feeling anxiety because there were so many different tests to choose from! Honestly, I think anxiety has been an issue most of my life, mostly unrecognized (other than the occasional "Don't be so damned jumpy!" from my dad.) I've also done the "Big Five" and "HEXACO" tests -- obviously not "diagnostic" of anything, but interesting.

        I occasionally listen to Jordan Peterson. On a few of his YouTube videos related to depression, he tells his students to ask people they're trying to help about several specific things:

        -- Do they have something that gives them "purpose"?

        -- Do their lives have "structure," including consistent sleeping and eating schedules?

        -- Do they have clear "goals"?

        -- Do they have a good intimate relationship / life partner?

        -- Do they have a good network of friends and family?

        -- Do they have physical health issues?

        -- Do they have substance abuse issues?

        He says that the "wrong" answer to 3 or more portends badly.

        I'm kinda boned on all but the substance abuse one. Lack of in-person interaction with humans has become a big problem, especially since my car crapped out. I interact directly with other humans for a couple of hours about once a week.
        Geislerminian Antinomian Kenotic Charispneumaticostal Gender Mutualist-Egalitarian.

        Beige Federalist.

        Nationalist Christian.

        "Everybody is somebody's heretic."

        Social Justice is usually the opposite of actual justice.

        Proud member of the this space left blank community.

        Would-be Grand Vizier of the Padishah Maxi-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Mega-MAGA King Trumpius Rex.

        Justice for Ashli Babbitt!

        Justice for Matthew Perna!

        Arrest Ray Epps and his Fed bosses!

        Comment


        • #5
          Please talk with a professional asap. And neurotypical people are the weird ones!
          If it weren't for the Resurrection of Jesus, we'd all be in DEEP TROUBLE!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by NorrinRadd View Post

            I used to love IQ tests. I dread the thought of them now. I would not be surprised if my IQ, at least as would be measured by a standardized test, has dropped 25 points or more since late in high school (ca. late '70s).
            Yeah, I didn't know they were going to do one when I went, and I had never gotten to take one before acquiring medical problems that have significantly impacted my working memory. Before all of that I was getting straight A's, and even a bit afterward I was still testing as many as 3 grades ahead of where I should have for my age. My average score IQ was 107, but my verbal IQ was 127. I suspect my score would have been higher if I didn't have constant pain through my entire body, and that pain being heavily exacerbated at the time of the appointment due to a long drive among other things.

            Many days my concentration is really craptacular. Even with subjects that interest me, I can sometimes barely make it to the end of a one-page article. That is *much* in contrast to the situation before middle age. In younger days, I could focus almost obsessively on a book or project for many hours. I blame it at least partly on "screens." Over the past 30 years, I've unintentionally trained my brain to bippity-bop among two separate browsers comprising ten windows and several hundred "tabs," plus a Bible program, plus the TV on a totally separate screen. Thank God I've never had or wanted a "smart phone."
            The underlined is actually another trait of autism and ADHD, it's called hyper focus. How well you can do that can be impacted by age, and other surrounding factors. I also have at least 15-20 browser tabs opened at a time, although I don't use two different browsers unless I have to. I wish I had a smart phone because there are so many things locked behind 2 factor authentication when it comes to online gaming.

            Right on the meaning of MDI. My cousin has been urging me to see someone about depression for a while. I've been resisting and muddling, mainly because of lack of insurance until recently. Now I'm working on setting up an appointment. Most of the places recommended by my provider are not taking new patients. I *had* wanted to get a basic look-over by my PCP first, but she has no openings until a week into November. Without going into detail, I've been having enough trouble navigating daily life that I don't want to wait that long. (Ok, I'll give one detail that really got my attention: A few days ago, I was going to make some iced tea "the hard way" -- brew tea and chill it. The thought of that little bit of planning and effort was so daunting, I briefly felt like crying. That is wack.)
            I had to look it up online, and there were multiple types of MDI, one of which was a specific type of inhaler. Finding a person to help with mental health was hard enough before covid, and it is significantly more difficult. Between finding a doctor, and the wait time for the appointment it was a bit over a year before I was able to be assessed for autism. For once in my life our rather terrible insurance* was actually a benefit here as it was the only insurance that doctor took.

            Your example with the iced tea sounds like it is consistent with depression, but it could also be compounded by an anxiety disorder or even sensory overload. I've had autistic meltdowns over seemingly small things before, but not the kind you usually see depicted in a lot of places. The ones you typically see online are hard to distinguish from temper tantrums at times. I've had some like that, but I'm more likely to just cry uncontrollably for a while rather than lash out angrily or scream.

            I may have a wider view of what constitutes "normal" as opposed to "neurodivergent" than some people. Everyone here seems relatively "normal" to me.
            That's one of the early red flags I have been kicking myself for missing lately. I met a lot of people that I became friends with here on TWeb, and a lot of them have autism. I didn't know that I had it too back then, but one of the reasons I didn't give it much thought is that they seemed so "normal" to me that I didn't think it was an issue I needed to look into. It actually wasn't until about two years ago during a hyper focus into psychology that I came across a YouTube channel by a person with autism explaining how it affects his life. My first response was to deny it. After all, the video only discussed one trait, and one trait is not enough for a diagnosis of anything. So down the autism research rabbit hole I went, and what started as one trait became an avalanche of traits. It got to the point I couldn't deny I matched the profile based on everything I could find, including but not limited to the DSM V. However since I am not a doctor I couldn't be 100% sure, so I decided to get an official evaluation. Given my previous track record with regards to issues like this I should have been more sure of my conclusions, and the doctor just confirmed what I had suspected. Although I didn't expect him to tell me that I am too nice for my own good. People have said that a lot, but I never expected that to be something a neuropsychologist would tell me.

            The AQ test is the only one I've done related to autism. In addition to the MDI, I've recently done the Beck tests for depression and anxiety. I've also done a few other anxiety tests. They (anxiety tests) are annoying, because my results are way less consistent among them. And on one page, I started feeling anxiety because there were so many different tests to choose from! Honestly, I think anxiety has been an issue most of my life, mostly unrecognized (other than the occasional "Don't be so damned jumpy!" from my dad.) I've also done the "Big Five" and "HEXACO" tests -- obviously not "diagnostic" of anything, but interesting.
            The fact that the number of different tests was giving you anxiety makes it sound like you are being overwhelmed. What the source, or sources are I don't know, but that is what it sounds like from reading this.

            The tests I linked to earlier are much more in depth, and have a lot more detail on their results page. The Aspie Quiz even has a nice graph for a visual representation of your score.

            I haven't heard of HEXACO, but I know about The Big Five. The latter is actually considered to be the only personality test with any level of scientific accuracy. 16 Personalities uses that test, but they use the naming conventions of the MBTI with two new categories added.

            I occasionally listen to Jordan Peterson. On a few of his YouTube videos related to depression, he tells his students to ask people they're trying to help about several specific things:

            -- Do they have something that gives them "purpose"?

            -- Do their lives have "structure," including consistent sleeping and eating schedules?

            -- Do they have clear "goals"?

            -- Do they have a good intimate relationship / life partner?

            -- Do they have a good network of friends and family?

            -- Do they have physical health issues?

            -- Do they have substance abuse issues?

            He says that the "wrong" answer to 3 or more portends badly.

            I'm kinda boned on all but the substance abuse one. Lack of in-person interaction with humans has become a big problem, especially since my car crapped out. I interact directly with other humans for a couple of hours about once a week.
            I've been listening to him some lately myself. I hadn't seen this one, and like you I don't have the right answer for most of those. The ones I get right are substance abuse, and structure. The family and friends one I think leans a bit towards the right one, but because I almost never get to hang out with friends in person that probably counts against me. My family is pretty supportive, but can be rather dysfunctional at the same time.

            *Our insurance fights nearly everything when it comes to prescription medication. Humana has been a constant source of stress for my mom for a long time now.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Christianbookworm View Post
              Please talk with a professional asap. And neurotypical people are the weird ones!
              They seem weird to us, but we seem weird to them. The double empathy problem is a good illustration of this.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Cerebrum123 View Post

                Yeah, I didn't know they were going to do one when I went, and I had never gotten to take one before acquiring medical problems that have significantly impacted my working memory. Before all of that I was getting straight A's, and even a bit afterward I was still testing as many as 3 grades ahead of where I should have for my age. My average score IQ was 107, but my verbal IQ was 127. I suspect my score would have been higher if I didn't have constant pain through my entire body, and that pain being heavily exacerbated at the time of the appointment due to a long drive among other things.
                Once upon a time, my IQ was 145. But after junior high, starting with my sophomore year in high school, my grades did not *quite* live up to my standardized test scores. Already by then I was just vaguely realizing I did not have quite as much drive and energy as some other kids. There were two other kids in my graduating class with mid-140s IQs, and they were both able to work part-time AND engage in extracurricular activities and still graduate in the top 10. I did not do much outside of schoolwork, and still graduated lower than they (15th).

                And college... yeesh. Took me six years to barely squeak out a four-year degree.


                The underlined is actually another trait of autism and ADHD, it's called hyper focus. How well you can do that can be impacted by age, and other surrounding factors. I also have at least 15-20 browser tabs opened at a time, although I don't use two different browsers unless I have to. I wish I had a smart phone because there are so many things locked behind 2 factor authentication when it comes to online gaming.
                I use two browsers only because Facebook works best for me in a Chrome-based browser (I use Brave), but several other sites do not. I hate the RAM-gobbling of Chrome browsers.

                It takes only a very few minutes for me to become frustrated with the limitations of smart-phones compared to actual computers.

                I had to look it up online, and there were multiple types of MDI, one of which was a specific type of inhaler. Finding a person to help with mental health was hard enough before covid, and it is significantly more difficult. Between finding a doctor, and the wait time for the appointment it was a bit over a year before I was able to be assessed for autism. For once in my life our rather terrible insurance* was actually a benefit here as it was the only insurance that doctor took.

                Your example with the iced tea sounds like it is consistent with depression, but it could also be compounded by an anxiety disorder or even sensory overload. I've had autistic meltdowns over seemingly small things before, but not the kind you usually see depicted in a lot of places. The ones you typically see online are hard to distinguish from temper tantrums at times. I've had some like that, but I'm more likely to just cry uncontrollably for a while rather than lash out angrily or scream.
                I have a history of migraines -- much more so in my 20s and 30s than recently -- and I can have some hypersensitivity issues. I now habitually wear a visor in this house, because decades ago my dad had fluorescent overhead lights installed in some rooms, and the glare can make me very edgy. At times I've had similar issues in grocery stores and department stores, but not in recent years. I know sometimes things work "wrong" for me. I recall a few years ago, I was feeling "down," so I decided to go out and pick berries at the edge of my yard to get some sun to brighten my mood. I had to quit after a few minutes, because the sun was having the opposite effect, and making me want to cry.

                I have trouble with some of those tests when they ask about feeling "sad." MDI is good in that it includes the alternative "low mood." For me, it's similar to "sad," but not the same, because when I feel "sad," I feel sad *about* some identifiable thing. Questions about "crying" are also problematic, because I almost never *actually* cry, but sometimes "feel like" crying. (The ridiculous exception is that the most absurd sentimental things can make me well up: Stitch talking about "ohana." Xander giving Dawn the speech about giving up the power. Crap like that.)


                That's one of the early red flags I have been kicking myself for missing lately. I met a lot of people that I became friends with here on TWeb, and a lot of them have autism. I didn't know that I had it too back then, but one of the reasons I didn't give it much thought is that they seemed so "normal" to me that I didn't think it was an issue I needed to look into. It actually wasn't until about two years ago during a hyper focus into psychology that I came across a YouTube channel by a person with autism explaining how it affects his life. My first response was to deny it. After all, the video only discussed one trait, and one trait is not enough for a diagnosis of anything. So down the autism research rabbit hole I went, and what started as one trait became an avalanche of traits. It got to the point I couldn't deny I matched the profile based on everything I could find, including but not limited to the DSM V. However since I am not a doctor I couldn't be 100% sure, so I decided to get an official evaluation. Given my previous track record with regards to issues like this I should have been more sure of my conclusions, and the doctor just confirmed what I had suspected. Although I didn't expect him to tell me that I am too nice for my own good. People have said that a lot, but I never expected that to be something a neuropsychologist would tell me.



                The fact that the number of different tests was giving you anxiety makes it sound like you are being overwhelmed. What the source, or sources are I don't know, but that is what it sounds like from reading this.

                The tests I linked to earlier are much more in depth, and have a lot more detail on their results page. The Aspie Quiz even has a nice graph for a visual representation of your score.
                I'm going to look those over.

                I haven't heard of HEXACO, but I know about The Big Five. The latter is actually considered to be the only personality test with any level of scientific accuracy. 16 Personalities uses that test, but they use the naming conventions of the MBTI with two new categories added.
                HEXACO is based on the Big Five, with an added category for Honesty/Humility, and a couple of the others renamed either to fit the acronym or to remove negative connotations (since none of the traits are inherently "bad").

                I previously mentioned my Big Five results here. Also mentioned HEXACO, and the fact that I was unable to upload the results.


                I've been listening to him some lately myself. I hadn't seen this one, and like you I don't have the right answer for most of those. The ones I get right are substance abuse, and structure. The family and friends one I think leans a bit towards the right one, but because I almost never get to hang out with friends in person that probably counts against me. My family is pretty supportive, but can be rather dysfunctional at the same time.
                I have no remaining parents, aunts, uncles. I never had siblings, nor wife or children. I have cousins that are supportive and relationally functional, but are very busy with their own family units and health issues. I used to spend a lot of time with friends, but they all fell away as they paired off and had their own families, and several moved out of the area.
                Geislerminian Antinomian Kenotic Charispneumaticostal Gender Mutualist-Egalitarian.

                Beige Federalist.

                Nationalist Christian.

                "Everybody is somebody's heretic."

                Social Justice is usually the opposite of actual justice.

                Proud member of the this space left blank community.

                Would-be Grand Vizier of the Padishah Maxi-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Mega-MAGA King Trumpius Rex.

                Justice for Ashli Babbitt!

                Justice for Matthew Perna!

                Arrest Ray Epps and his Fed bosses!

                Comment


                • #9
                  On this bit --
                  Once upon a time, my IQ was 145. But after junior high, starting with my sophomore year in high school, my grades did not *quite* live up to my standardized test scores. Already by then I was just vaguely realizing I did not have quite as much drive and energy as some other kids. There were two other kids in my graduating class with mid-140s IQs, and they were both able to work part-time AND engage in extracurricular activities and still graduate in the top 10. I did not do much outside of schoolwork, and still graduated lower than they (15th).
                  -- I forgot to mention that I also intentionally skimped on "electives" so that I'd be able to nap once or twice a day in study halls.
                  Geislerminian Antinomian Kenotic Charispneumaticostal Gender Mutualist-Egalitarian.

                  Beige Federalist.

                  Nationalist Christian.

                  "Everybody is somebody's heretic."

                  Social Justice is usually the opposite of actual justice.

                  Proud member of the this space left blank community.

                  Would-be Grand Vizier of the Padishah Maxi-Super-Ultra-Hyper-Mega-MAGA King Trumpius Rex.

                  Justice for Ashli Babbitt!

                  Justice for Matthew Perna!

                  Arrest Ray Epps and his Fed bosses!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by NorrinRadd View Post

                    Once upon a time, my IQ was 145. But after junior high, starting with my sophomore year in high school, my grades did not *quite* live up to my standardized test scores. Already by then I was just vaguely realizing I did not have quite as much drive and energy as some other kids. There were two other kids in my graduating class with mid-140s IQs, and they were both able to work part-time AND engage in extracurricular activities and still graduate in the top 10. I did not do much outside of schoolwork, and still graduated lower than they (15th).

                    And college... yeesh. Took me six years to barely squeak out a four-year degree.
                    Wow, 145 is an impressive score on an IQ test. I wouldn't be too surprised if my IQ was a bit closer to that level in the past, in fact one of the more limited tests I took online* had me at 136-145. If it weren't for medical issues forcing me out of school in middle school I would likely have had a mental breakdown in high school. In middle school I had already had an ulcer from the stress, and I was severely bullied. I experienced a lot of unexplained bullying since my earliest memories. One time I was just minding my own business in a sandbox at a playground and a girl came up to me and threw sand in my eyes. I had to have been like 2 or 3 years old then. It didn't really let up until I stopped going to school, and even then it still happened just less frequently.

                    From what I've read a higher than average IQ is more likely in the autistic population than in the general population. Autism seems to be a condition of extremes. You can be extremely good in one or a few areas, but then terrible in others.

                    I use two browsers only because Facebook works best for me in a Chrome-based browser (I use Brave), but several other sites do not. I hate the RAM-gobbling of Chrome browsers.

                    It takes only a very few minutes for me to become frustrated with the limitations of smart-phones compared to actual computers.
                    I can understand both of those reasons. I use Chrome because it is the most stable for the stuff I use it for, and I have enough RAM that most stuff can run even with Chrome gobbling up some of it. You need a decent amount of RAM to play video games on PC these days. A lot of stuff needs 8 GB minimum, and I have 16 GB to make sure I'm past that. If more games require more I'll try and upgrade to 32 GB.

                    I have to help my mom with her smart phone a lot, and yeah it is frustrating how limited the interface is. Part of the reason I want one is so I can get used to the extremely limiting options on there.

                    I have a history of migraines -- much more so in my 20s and 30s than recently -- and I can have some hypersensitivity issues. I now habitually wear a visor in this house, because decades ago my dad had fluorescent overhead lights installed in some rooms, and the glare can make me very edgy. At times I've had similar issues in grocery stores and department stores, but not in recent years. I know sometimes things work "wrong" for me. I recall a few years ago, I was feeling "down," so I decided to go out and pick berries at the edge of my yard to get some sun to brighten my mood. I had to quit after a few minutes, because the sun was having the opposite effect, and making me want to cry.
                    A sensitivity to lights, and especially fluorescent lights is very common in autistics. It can be very confusing for people, especially if they don't understand why seemingly minor things bother them terribly, and others act as if they aren't there. It can make you feel as if you are losing your mind. Migraines are also a common symptom of sensory overload. Tinnitus, visual snow, and a tendency for things like TMJ are also more common among autistics.

                    I have trouble with some of those tests when they ask about feeling "sad." MDI is good in that it includes the alternative "low mood." For me, it's similar to "sad," but not the same, because when I feel "sad," I feel sad *about* some identifiable thing. Questions about "crying" are also problematic, because I almost never *actually* cry, but sometimes "feel like" crying. (The ridiculous exception is that the most absurd sentimental things can make me well up: Stitch talking about "ohana." Xander giving Dawn the speech about giving up the power. Crap like that.)
                    This sounds a lot like alexythymia, which is also very common among autistics. It basically means that you have a hard time understanding, and describing your emotional state. "alexy" in Latin means "without words", and "thymia" means emotions. It feels weird to for me to have something like alexythymia while being hyperlexic. I was reading books as young as three years old, and not just simple stuff either. Stuff like the KJV Bible, and some encyclopedias we had. I didn't understand all of it, but I could recognize most words and figure out others based on spelling. Being at a loss for words is rare for me.

                    That scene in Lilo and Stich gets me every time. It is a movie that a lot of autistics identify with. I don't know who Xander or Dawn are. After learning what autism really is, and that I'm autistic I started noticing just how many of my favorite fictional characters show a lot of autistic traits. I've gravitated to them my whole life without realizing it.

                    I'd recommend watching Max Derrat, Autism from the Inside, and Yo Samdy Sam on YouTube. They are all autistic, but they all present differently. However, from watching their content I've been able to piece together a lot of what is and isn't due to my autism. Max Derrat is probably closest to my own personality and traits, but he also has ADHD, which adds other issues I don't have. There are other autistic YouTubers with good content, but the ones I gave seemed to be the most detailed and in depth.

                    I'm going to look those over.


                    HEXACO is based on the Big Five, with an added category for Honesty/Humility, and a couple of the others renamed either to fit the acronym or to remove negative connotations (since none of the traits are inherently "bad").

                    I previously mentioned my Big Five results here. Also mentioned HEXACO, and the fact that I was unable to upload the results.
                    Ah, I'll have to check it out.

                    I have no remaining parents, aunts, uncles. I never had siblings, nor wife or children. I have cousins that are supportive and relationally functional, but are very busy with their own family units and health issues. I used to spend a lot of time with friends, but they all fell away as they paired off and had their own families, and several moved out of the area.
                    I have a brother, but for a lot of my friends and family I've lost for similar reasons. Everyone else moved on while I've been stuck in much the same place I was in since middle school. I have underlying health issues, but I know that isn't the only thing contributing to the issue. Making and maintaining friendships and relationships is one of the major characteristics of autism. I recommend looking up Dr. Tony Attwood since he explains the overly clinical way the DSM V describes autism.

                    The more I read about you, the more you seem like a textbook case of ASD, or what used to be called Asperger's.

                    *The full version you had to pay for, and that was rather expensive. I wish it wasn't so ridiculously expensive, as being able to do the test from home would eliminate a lot of the problems I had with the version at the office. Not only was I in more pain than usual, but I was incredibly nervous during the evaluation. Having a computer to handle the input instead of a person I just met would have reduced that issue tremendously.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Cerebrum123 View Post

                      Wow, 145 is an impressive score on an IQ test. I wouldn't be too surprised if my IQ was a bit closer to that level in the past, in fact one of the more limited tests I took online* had me at 136-145. If it weren't for medical issues forcing me out of school in middle school I would likely have had a mental breakdown in high school. In middle school I had already had an ulcer from the stress, and I was severely bullied. I experienced a lot of unexplained bullying since my earliest memories. One time I was just minding my own business in a sandbox at a playground and a girl came up to me and threw sand in my eyes. I had to have been like 2 or 3 years old then. It didn't really let up until I stopped going to school, and even then it still happened just less frequently.

                      From what I've read a higher than average IQ is more likely in the autistic population than in the general population. Autism seems to be a condition of extremes. You can be extremely good in one or a few areas, but then terrible in others.
                      There were at least three of us in a graduating class of about 235. One of the others was a girl I had a crush on, the other was a guy who was kind of a "frenemy." They were both more gregarious and well-rounded than I. I was teased a bit, but not bullied. Once puberty hit, I slimmed down, grew a mustache, and was fit enough to do fairly well on the annual physical fitness tests, but I was never particularly "athletic."

                      I can understand both of those reasons. I use Chrome because it is the most stable for the stuff I use it for, and I have enough RAM that most stuff can run even with Chrome gobbling up some of it. You need a decent amount of RAM to play video games on PC these days. A lot of stuff needs 8 GB minimum, and I have 16 GB to make sure I'm past that. If more games require more I'll try and upgrade to 32 GB.
                      I've never been able to get interested in gaming. Back in the '90s, I'd occasionally play "Duke Nukem" or "Descent" for a half-hour or so, and repeatedly get myself slaughtered early on.

                      This old laptop is maxed at 8 GB. It frequently gets above 85% RAM usage. At 87-88% glitches become noticeable. I have a RAM optimizer doo-dad that actually works pretty well at freeing memory, *if* I catch the problem and manually activate it. If I fail to notice and RAM usage gets above 90%, I'm usually hosed. Everything chokes and I have to do a hard reset.


                      I have to help my mom with her smart phone a lot, and yeah it is frustrating how limited the interface is. Part of the reason I want one is so I can get used to the extremely limiting options on there.
                      20 years or so ago, I would probably have enjoyed the challenge. I've changed for the worse in that area.

                      A sensitivity to lights, and especially fluorescent lights is very common in autistics. It can be very confusing for people, especially if they don't understand why seemingly minor things bother them terribly, and others act as if they aren't there. It can make you feel as if you are losing your mind. Migraines are also a common symptom of sensory overload. Tinnitus, visual snow, and a tendency for things like TMJ are also more common among autistics.
                      I've had constant tinnitus for, I dunno, over ten years. Sometimes very faint, so that I have to intentionally "check" to see if it's still the.re. Other times, like after a nap, it's CRAZY loud. No visual "snow," but my "floaters" have been more noticeable lately.

                      On the "going crazy" thing, I've had in my life four bouts of "depersonalization/derealization" significant enough to recall. Two were in my youth, and I don't recall what triggered them. One was around 20 years ago. AFAICT, the trigger was the act of stepping out of my car into the parking lot. I'd driven about 40 minutes, immersed on something on radio. The sudden change of environment and focus was like flipping a switch in my brain. It was SO uncomfortable that it led to a full-on panic attack. I got control of that by running into the store and "grounding" myself by focusing on my shopping list. But the dp/dr feeling lasted literally for months -- most of that summer. Then it just went away. The fourth time was around 15 years ago, when I woke up in that state. That time, it was part of the aura for a migraine episode.


                      This sounds a lot like alexythymia, which is also very common among autistics. It basically means that you have a hard time understanding, and describing your emotional state. "alexy" in Latin means "without words", and "thymia" means emotions. It feels weird to for me to have something like alexythymia while being hyperlexic. I was reading books as young as three years old, and not just simple stuff either. Stuff like the KJV Bible, and some encyclopedias we had. I didn't understand all of it, but I could recognize most words and figure out others based on spelling. Being at a loss for words is rare for me.
                      I'm pretty good at describing physical discomforts, and distinguishing different kinds and levels of pain. Emotion and mood are harder.

                      I didn't start reading nearly that early.


                      That scene in Lilo and Stich gets me every time. It is a movie that a lot of autistics identify with. I don't know who Xander or Dawn are. After learning what autism really is, and that I'm autistic I started noticing just how many of my favorite fictional characters show a lot of autistic traits. I've gravitated to them my whole life without realizing it.
                      Dawn and Xander are characters from the "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" series. That scene is near the end of the final season. There's some really great writing and acting in that series.




                      I'd recommend watching Max Derrat, Autism from the Inside, and Yo Samdy Sam on YouTube. They are all autistic, but they all present differently. However, from watching their content I've been able to piece together a lot of what is and isn't due to my autism. Max Derrat is probably closest to my own personality and traits, but he also has ADHD, which adds other issues I don't have. There are other autistic YouTubers with good content, but the ones I gave seemed to be the most detailed and in depth.







                      Ah, I'll have to check it out.



                      I have a brother, but for a lot of my friends and family I've lost for similar reasons. Everyone else moved on while I've been stuck in much the same place I was in since middle school. I have underlying health issues, but I know that isn't the only thing contributing to the issue. Making and maintaining friendships and relationships is one of the major characteristics of autism. I recommend looking up Dr. Tony Attwood since he explains the overly clinical way the DSM V describes autism.

                      The more I read about you, the more you seem like a textbook case of ASD, or what used to be called Asperger's.
                      Until my cousin the other day, no one had ever suggested that. I'm known for being relatively quiet. I enjoy social gatherings, but if there are a lot of people I don't know, I prefer to either be or have a "plus one." Even around people I know, I like to mostly observe, and occasionally throw in a smart-aleck remark. Many of my friends and most of my family are fairly loud and boisterous and loquacious, so I probably do stand out by contrast.

                      My best friend of about 33 years thinks the idea that I'm on the spectrum is crazy. But she's basing that on working for 20 years at a group home for mentally challenged people, some of whom have significant and disruptive forms of autism, in combination with other issues. And FWIW, sometimes when she has to explain things multiple times to me, or help me get the seatbelt around my Giant Puffy Winter Coat, she gets exasperated and says, "You remind me of the guys at work!"

                      *The full version you had to pay for, and that was rather expensive. I wish it wasn't so ridiculously expensive, as being able to do the test from home would eliminate a lot of the problems I had with the version at the office. Not only was I in more pain than usual, but I was incredibly nervous during the evaluation. Having a computer to handle the input instead of a person I just met would have reduced that issue tremendously.
                      A *lot* depends on how well-rested I feel. Grogginess and brain-fog are increasingly troublesome for me, and when I don't feel sharp, I feel very insecure and get social anxiety. In those cases, if I'm in public, I'll actually be more likely to talk to a stranger than a friend, because the stranger won't be expecting anything but really light, quick small-talk. I've always had poor "sleep hygiene," and have tended to "come alive" at the wrong part of the clock. That's become worse with age. I was starting to get a handle on it in late summer of 2019, and had a few weeks where I was maintaining a decent sleep schedule, exercising regularly, and feeling at least a little bit motivated and optimistic. Then I got a kidney stone, then the E.R. nurses and doctors almost pooped themselves when they saw my 230/130 BP. They set me up with the first PCP I'd had in over ten years, and she told me to take things easy for a while. So that crapped on my progress. Then from Dec. 28 of 2019 to mid-Feb. of 2020, I had the Worst Flu Ever. That messed up my sleep and energy even more, and I don't think I've ever quite gotten back to even what was "normal" for *me*.
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                      • #12
                        I got a 32 on the RAADS-R test. The multiple-answer choices are too limiting. I wanted to answer "sometimes" on several of the questions, instead of "true" or "never."

                        My brother-in-law is autistic and I can see him struggle with it, often grimacing in family get togethers that get too loud or chaotic. I have less tolerance for noise and chaos myself as I get older, but I chalk that up to becoming a cranky old man.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by NorrinRadd View Post

                          There were at least three of us in a graduating class of about 235. One of the others was a girl I had a crush on, the other was a guy who was kind of a "frenemy." They were both more gregarious and well-rounded than I. I was teased a bit, but not bullied. Once puberty hit, I slimmed down, grew a mustache, and was fit enough to do fairly well on the annual physical fitness tests, but I was never particularly "athletic."
                          I've had a lot of people say things like how I seem so put together, or well rounded, or grounded. In reality I'm a mess. I just don't show my emotions the way most people expect, and tend to bottle them up. That has been quite negative for my mental health, but since I likely have alexythymia it is very difficult to do anything about. It is hard to deal with emotions when anything beyond sad, mad, or glad is almost impossible to describe.

                          I'm glad you didn't end up getting bullied, it leaves a mark and is something that I still struggle with.

                          I've never been able to get interested in gaming. Back in the '90s, I'd occasionally play "Duke Nukem" or "Descent" for a half-hour or so, and repeatedly get myself slaughtered early on.

                          This old laptop is maxed at 8 GB. It frequently gets above 85% RAM usage. At 87-88% glitches become noticeable. I have a RAM optimizer doo-dad that actually works pretty well at freeing memory, *if* I catch the problem and manually activate it. If I fail to notice and RAM usage gets above 90%, I'm usually hosed. Everything chokes and I have to do a hard reset.
                          Sounds like you might have had a mismatch with the games you were trying to play and what would be more genuinely fun for you. Early Duke Nukem was often considered brutally difficult for people new to video games. I started playing video games around 1990, when I was three years old. I died a lot, but I just saw that as a challenge to overcome. Because I was so early in learning and playing games considered rather challenging I got to be really good at them. In fact when I got a bit older people would bring over video games just to watch me beat them, usually because they couldn't do it themselves.

                          20 years or so ago, I would probably have enjoyed the challenge. I've changed for the worse in that area.
                          Yeah, I used to be much more up for challenges of all types, even if they were a bit on the unfair side. Now I back down much easier.

                          I've had constant tinnitus for, I dunno, over ten years. Sometimes very faint, so that I have to intentionally "check" to see if it's still the.re. Other times, like after a nap, it's CRAZY loud. No visual "snow," but my "floaters" have been more noticeable lately.
                          Waking up is when my tinnitus and visual snow is much, much worse. It's so bad then that it's effectively the same as watching a TV on a channel that doesn't exist alongside a very loud and persistent ringing. I've had them both issues even in my earliest memories, although I didn't know visual snow was significant. I thought everyone saw TV like static overlaying everything. All of these issues can be caused by stuff that isn't autism, but you are a bit more likely to be susceptible to having them without an injury to cause it.

                          On the "going crazy" thing, I've had in my life four bouts of "depersonalization/derealization" significant enough to recall. Two were in my youth, and I don't recall what triggered them. One was around 20 years ago. AFAICT, the trigger was the act of stepping out of my car into the parking lot. I'd driven about 40 minutes, immersed on something on radio. The sudden change of environment and focus was like flipping a switch in my brain. It was SO uncomfortable that it led to a full-on panic attack. I got control of that by running into the store and "grounding" myself by focusing on my shopping list. But the dp/dr feeling lasted literally for months -- most of that summer. Then it just went away. The fourth time was around 15 years ago, when I woke up in that state. That time, it was part of the aura for a migraine episode.
                          I don't think I've ever had long periods that were intense like that, but I've definitely had derealization and depersonalization. Usually at a lower level, but rather consistent through a large portion of my life.

                          I'm pretty good at describing physical discomforts, and distinguishing different kinds and levels of pain. Emotion and mood are harder.
                          With the exception of having a hard time realizing when I am hungry, thirsty, or need to use the bathroom I'm pretty accurate with describing physical discomforts as well. In fact many times I've gone to doctors telling them I have a problem, them dismissing me, and then them being proven wrong about the problem. This happened multiple times with strep throat, once with a corneal abrasion, and probably more I'm not remembering right now.

                          I didn't start reading nearly that early.
                          Yeah, I'm a bit of an outlier on that. Even with hyperlexic people it can often be 4-5 years with 6 years being the average starting age.

                          Dawn and Xander are characters from the "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" series. That scene is near the end of the final season. There's some really great writing and acting in that series.
                          I never got to watch the show when it was one, but I had always heard good things about it. I have some friend who likely have the whole series on DVD, maybe they will want to watch it.

                          Until my cousin the other day, no one had ever suggested that. I'm known for being relatively quiet. I enjoy social gatherings, but if there are a lot of people I don't know, I prefer to either be or have a "plus one." Even around people I know, I like to mostly observe, and occasionally throw in a smart-aleck remark. Many of my friends and most of my family are fairly loud and boisterous and loquacious, so I probably do stand out by contrast.
                          Other than random people in online gaming who throw around the word autistic at everyone they want to insult, I never had it suggested by anyone. I stumbled across it on my own when trying to learn about psychology in general. That realization scared me at first. I didn't want something else "wrong" with me. I started researching as much on the issue as possible in order to prove that initial thought wrong, but that didn't go as planned.

                          My best friend of about 33 years thinks the idea that I'm on the spectrum is crazy. But she's basing that on working for 20 years at a group home for mentally challenged people, some of whom have significant and disruptive forms of autism, in combination with other issues. And FWIW, sometimes when she has to explain things multiple times to me, or help me get the seatbelt around my Giant Puffy Winter Coat, she gets exasperated and says, "You remind me of the guys at work!"
                          Even the neuropsychologist I went to sees "disruptive autism" as you call it, and what I have as different. However since the diagnostic system has changed I have Autism Spectrum Disorder as my diagnosis. He would prefer that they keep Asperger's and Autism as separate, but based on the research I've done I don't really agree, at least not anymore. For the people I trusted enough to tell my diagnosis to one of the common responses was "you don't seem autistic". Having issues with certain things other people consider very basic is also common. Poor coordination and poor proprioception are also often comorbid with autism, that's one reason you don't see a whole lot of athletic autistics. However, due to the rather extreme nature of the condition you often get the few who are athletic to be extremely talented at their particular activities.

                          A *lot* depends on how well-rested I feel. Grogginess and brain-fog are increasingly troublesome for me, and when I don't feel sharp, I feel very insecure and get social anxiety. In those cases, if I'm in public, I'll actually be more likely to talk to a stranger than a friend, because the stranger won't be expecting anything but really light, quick small-talk. I've always had poor "sleep hygiene," and have tended to "come alive" at the wrong part of the clock. That's become worse with age. I was starting to get a handle on it in late summer of 2019, and had a few weeks where I was maintaining a decent sleep schedule, exercising regularly, and feeling at least a little bit motivated and optimistic. Then I got a kidney stone, then the E.R. nurses and doctors almost pooped themselves when they saw my 230/130 BP. They set me up with the first PCP I'd had in over ten years, and she told me to take things easy for a while. So that crapped on my progress. Then from Dec. 28 of 2019 to mid-Feb. of 2020, I had the Worst Flu Ever. That messed up my sleep and energy even more, and I don't think I've ever quite gotten back to even what was "normal" for *me*.
                          Sleep issues are something I have dealt with since I was born according to my parents. This is also a common trait among autistics. I think it was something like only 40-60% of the amount of resting sleep for every hour compared to what neurotypicals get in the same amount of time. It took me a long time, but I've gotten better with sleep hygiene. Chronic insomnia is not fun.

                          Fortunately my blood pressure is normal to slightly high. Usually it is higher at a doctor's office because of all of the stress involved in going to an appointment. I've also lost around 20 pounds in the last year, so other than my chronic health issues I'm not doing terrible on that front.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Ronson View Post
                            I got a 32 on the RAADS-R test. The multiple-answer choices are too limiting. I wanted to answer "sometimes" on several of the questions, instead of "true" or "never."
                            Try some of the other tests like The Aspie Quiz. IIRC one of the criticisms of the RAADS-R is that it uses absolute statements like the ones you mention. This is a problem because autistics are more likely to take the question more literally than a neurotypical and not be able to accurately answer too many of the questions. Now, scoring really low on one test and still having autism is possible, but when that happens it is usually due to understanding what the questions are trying to gauge.

                            I had a 174 total score on the test. The only one I scored relatively low on was the AQ50 and was in the 30's, but still above the threshold.

                            From the Embrace Autism site there is this criticism.

                            Source: Embrace Autism

                            Kendall:


                            A significant percentage of the statements are nearly impossible for me to answer or, have no appropriate answer. It feels like throwing a dart at times; no choice is accurate, just slightly more or less accurate.

                            That said, the test has a close to 100% success rate in differentiating autism from non-autism, despite these limitations.

                            © Copyright Original Source



                            On the same page they say people with autism rarely score lower than 44. I think that those who do score that low or lower are not able to answer accurately due to the wording.

                            My brother-in-law is autistic and I can see him struggle with it, often grimacing in family get togethers that get too loud or chaotic. I have less tolerance for noise and chaos myself as I get older, but I chalk that up to becoming a cranky old man.
                            That's always possible, as people age they often become less tolerant of aggravations. Since you have a family member with autism there is a higher chance of having it yourself. I suspect most of my immediate family is somewhere on the spectrum, but I think my parents don't believe me when I say that. This despite having two officially diagnosed family members with it, and another family member who they think likely has it too. People on the spectrum can present very differently. I've been able to mask well enough for most people to never even think I might have autism, but just different enough to be considered weird.

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                            • #15
                              I'm confused about the scale of the test NR linked to. It seems to indicate that it goes up to 30 as the highest level of 20-30 indicates "strong likelihood", but you all are mentioning higher numbers.
                              "I am not angered that the Moral Majority boys campaign against abortion. I am angry when the same men who say, "Save OUR children" bellow "Build more and bigger bombers." That's right! Blast the children in other nations into eternity, or limbless misery as they lay crippled from "OUR" bombers! This does not jell." - Leonard Ravenhill

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