OK, serious question time:
I have a niece (by marriage) who is a 13-year old girl. She's the oldest in her family (one sister and a recently adopted baby brother). She's currently 'going off the rails': neglecting her schoolwork, her personal tidiness, getting into trouble at school (breaking school rules like uniform, hairstyle, etc), doing little if anything to help around the house. She's also a 'tom' - she wants to have a girlfriend (NOT a boyfriend). That sort of thing is reasonably acceptable in this culture (SE Asian) but not for someone her age.
The background to this is that her parents have separated and her father is living in another city. The parents have had problems with the marriage for a while (he had an affair and a baby by another woman) and it looks like they've finally broken up. My niece was always quite close to her Dad, but now seems to dislike him, and doesn't seem to respect her mother much either.
What I'd like is your thoughts and insights on what she's likely feeling and going through emotionally; and what (apart from praying) my wife and I can do to help. I've known her since she was a baby, and we're reasonably close. We had a good conversation about some of her feelings and issues and I feel she listens to me to a degree.
My thoughts are that she's feeling really mixed up emotionally - she both loves and is angry with /hurt by/feels rejected by her father; and loves but also feels disappointed in her mother.
I have a niece (by marriage) who is a 13-year old girl. She's the oldest in her family (one sister and a recently adopted baby brother). She's currently 'going off the rails': neglecting her schoolwork, her personal tidiness, getting into trouble at school (breaking school rules like uniform, hairstyle, etc), doing little if anything to help around the house. She's also a 'tom' - she wants to have a girlfriend (NOT a boyfriend). That sort of thing is reasonably acceptable in this culture (SE Asian) but not for someone her age.
The background to this is that her parents have separated and her father is living in another city. The parents have had problems with the marriage for a while (he had an affair and a baby by another woman) and it looks like they've finally broken up. My niece was always quite close to her Dad, but now seems to dislike him, and doesn't seem to respect her mother much either.
What I'd like is your thoughts and insights on what she's likely feeling and going through emotionally; and what (apart from praying) my wife and I can do to help. I've known her since she was a baby, and we're reasonably close. We had a good conversation about some of her feelings and issues and I feel she listens to me to a degree.
My thoughts are that she's feeling really mixed up emotionally - she both loves and is angry with /hurt by/feels rejected by her father; and loves but also feels disappointed in her mother.
Comment