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Stuff that dads say

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  • Stuff that dads say

    Growing up, if us boys didn't want to eat something, dad would say that it would put hair on our chests. So naturally I do that with my kids. I did have to modify it to "it'll put hair on your legs" for my daughter.

    Friend tells his kids to "rub some dirt into it" when they fall down and get hurt.

    To help get the kids out of the tub I let the water out and tell them to hurry up or they'll go down the pipe to where the alligators live.

    Anyone else?
    No Silicon Heaven? Preposterous! Where would all the calculators go?

  • #2
    "Do as I say and not as I do" I still say that....

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    • #3
      Originally posted by supton View Post
      Growing up, if us boys didn't want to eat something, dad would say that it would put hair on our chests. So naturally I do that with my kids. I did have to modify it to "it'll put hair on your legs" for my daughter.

      Friend tells his kids to "rub some dirt into it" when they fall down and get hurt.

      To help get the kids out of the tub I let the water out and tell them to hurry up or they'll go down the pipe to where the alligators live.

      Anyone else?
      I'm calling Children's Protective Services.
      "Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”

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      • #4
        "Don't make faces in the mirror like that, because if the wind changes..."

        A little boy is with his daddy in the bath: "Daddy, Daddy, what are those for?" "Four?!"

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        • #5
          As long as you're living in my house you're living by my rules.

          Aren't you old enough to move out yet? (started when I was 9)

          I'm always still in trouble again

          "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
          "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

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          • #6
            My dad used to tell me not to bury my enemies in the back yard because it made it easier for the cops to find the bodies.

            Er, I mean, he used to say Drink your milk son and you will grow up and be strong. Yeah that's what he said...


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            • #7
              Originally posted by Sparko View Post
              My dad used to tell me not to bury my enemies in the back yard because it made it easier for the cops to find the bodies.
              The fact that you kept making my maps with X marks the spot didn't help matters -- especially when you would use a can of paint to put an actual X on the ground

              My dad was a tank commander during WWII (was the only survivor of a skirmish during the Battle of the Bulge). He taught me more about molotov cocktails than all other sources combined.

              I'm always still in trouble again

              "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
              "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

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              • #8
                "You've got to always be thinking."

                While in a lively game of ultimate frisbee, my dad gave the following profound defense advice: "Stick to 'em like ugly on ape."
                I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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                • #9
                  My dad often didn't have to say a word. A certain look said volumes.

                  He also had a specific hand signal for me that went from two fingers held up (like a peace sign) and then one finger (no not that one, the index finger). It stood for "You have two ears and one mouth. Use them accordingly." Translated: shut up and listen for a change.

                  I'm always still in trouble again

                  "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
                  "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    My dad was a very intimidating guy. About 6'3", very sturdily built, and with a seriously commanding presence. Also, he totally rocked the slightly graying goatee.
                    I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by GoBahnsen View Post
                      "Do as I say and not as I do" I still say that....
                      This one the most. Other than that, he warned us not to ask him anything past 7:00pm. He got mean after 7:00pm. So do I, actually.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by rogue06 View Post
                        My dad often didn't have to say a word. A certain look said volumes.
                        To my pleasure, I have discovered that I possess this look. Yes, I have used it more than once on my daughter of not-quite-three. She knows what it signifies.


                        I would never do the alligator-tub thing. She's scared of enough as it is.
                        I'm not here anymore.

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                        • #13
                          A number of years ago my youngest was 2. We had been given this hand-puppet which was a frog. Funny little thing. When you squeezed your hand it went "ribbet". Only, if you did it multiple times and fast, you'd hear a tune of some sort. Fun little toy.

                          One night I had that on my hand, and was just fooling around with the kids before bedtime. I "nibbled" on the toes of the kids and said "be careful, he'll bite your toes off!" I thought they were having fun. Put them to bed and forgot about. Until...

                          The folllowing morning the 2 year old took the frog and threw it at mommy, and said "it bites!" And was scared to death of frogs for the next year. She would not go near that frog, and if I came near her with it she'd scream.

                          Dad's don't always have it easy.
                          No Silicon Heaven? Preposterous! Where would all the calculators go?

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