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Men are from Mars Women are from Venus demonstrated in Creative writing form :)

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  • Men are from Mars Women are from Venus demonstrated in Creative writing form :)

    You know that book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well, here's a prime example of that. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted).

    First, the Assignment:

    English 44A
    Creative Writing
    Prof. Miller

    In-class Assignment for Wednesday:

    Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.

    And now, the Assignment as submitted by Rebecca & Gary:

    Rebecca starts:

    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.


    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed, asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.

    "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one
    last pang of regret for psychologically brutalising the one woman who had
    ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
    hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

    "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",
    Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited
    her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth --
    when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to
    read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
    all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to
    become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.


    Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted, wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenceless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverise the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.

    The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporised Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"


    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.


    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centred, tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort ofEdited by a Moderatortea?? Oh no what am I to do? I am such an airheaded bimbo who reads too many Danelle Steele Novels!

    Rebecca: Edited by a Moderator

    Gary: Edited by a Moderator

    Rebecca: **** you Neartherdal

    Gary: In your dreams, H*, Go drink some tea

    Teacher: A+ to the both of you.

    This is actually a real writing assignment:
    Last edited by Bill the Cat; 11-03-2014, 01:45 PM. Reason: veiled profanity

  • #2
    This is real life at home for me, I'm married to a novelist.

    Wife's Diary:

    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

    I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I
    loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

    When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around
    us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

    Husband's Diary:

    A two-foot putt...who the hell misses a two-foot putt ?


    • #3


      • #4
        I on the other hand an from the Mojave Desert.
        Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?


        • #5
          Absolutely hysterical and absolutely accurate!


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