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This is a guy's only forum. No girls allowed. Male bonding time.

In here we can leave the seat up, drink from the carton and talk about manly things without fear of the ladies butting in. You know how they can be.

But remember, always play by the rules: here
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Wife Training 101

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  • Wife Training 101

    Fellas,

    It's time to stop being a doormat and learn to train your wives!



  • #2
    Lesson 1

    Garbage in, Garbage out.

    You have to start with the right raw materials. For instance, this is NOT good wife material:


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    • #3
      Let it be noted that Sparko is still single...

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      • #4
        Well, I would be single if I had not gotten married.
        Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Jedidiah View Post
          Well, I would be single if I had not gotten married.
          good advice Jed!

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          • #6
            Glad to share my wisdom.
            Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

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            • #7
              If your wife ever asks, does this dress make me look fat? Tell her "No dear. It's the extra 30 pounds on your butt that makes you look fat"

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              • #8
                I think Athol Kay gives a better answer to that.

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                • #9
                  Lesson 2 - Learning names of things.

                  Difficulty: Moderate
                  Prerequisite: None
                  Items Needed: Clicker, Treats (chocolates, sparklies, etc)

                  Wives are a lot smarter than we give them credit for and can learn the names of all sorts of things. A redhead named Bambi currently holds the record for the largest wife vocabulary, having learned the names of over 1000 different items. Wives aren't limited to objects, they can learn the names of people and other wives as well. Wouldn't it be nice if your wife knew your kids' names? You can teach your wife the names of all her toys, the TV remote, or a place like the kitchen or the bedroom.

                  Step 1: Have your wife touch your hand and click treat.
                  Step 2: Hold the object in your hand and say touch. Click treat when she touches the object not when she touches your hand.
                  Step 3: Call the object by its name (slippers, pipe, TV remote, etc) just as she touches it. Click and treat.
                  Step 4: Repeat 5 times.
                  Step 5: Hold the object and say its name and click and treat when she touches it.

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                  • #10
                    Let it be noted here that one Sparky is single and two that if Sparky were to ever get married with advice such as the above he would be far less likely to have children as the couch would be his nightly bed.
                    A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
                    George Bernard Shaw

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                    • #11
                      Girl in the Frat!!!!!!!!
                      "If you can ever make any major religion look absolutely ludicrous, chances are you haven't understood it"
                      -Ravi Zacharias, The New Age: A foreign bird with a local walk

                      Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
                      1 Corinthians 16:13

                      "...he [Doherty] is no historian and he is not even conversant with the historical discussions of the very matters he wants to pontificate on."
                      -Ben Witherington III

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Raphael View Post
                        Girl in the Frat!!!!!!!!
                        Obviously her husband has been neglecting his husbandly duties of providing proper training.

                        I'm always still in trouble again

                        "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
                        "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by rogue06 View Post
                          Obviously her husband has been neglecting his husbandly duties of providing proper training.
                          Indeed, she didn't even bring beer.
                          "If you can ever make any major religion look absolutely ludicrous, chances are you haven't understood it"
                          -Ravi Zacharias, The New Age: A foreign bird with a local walk

                          Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
                          1 Corinthians 16:13

                          "...he [Doherty] is no historian and he is not even conversant with the historical discussions of the very matters he wants to pontificate on."
                          -Ben Witherington III

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Catholicity View Post
                            Let it be noted here that one Sparky is single and two that if Sparky were to ever get married with advice such as the above he would be far less likely to have children as the couch would be his nightly bed.
                            eek a gurl in the frat.

                            dont listen to her!!!

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                            • #15
                              Let it also be known that this is the Fraternity....

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