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My son and my dad

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  • My son and my dad

    It's strange how much more I miss my dad now that I named my son after him. I wouldn't have thought that would make this big a difference in my life. There's one thing that I wish right now almost more than anything, and it's that I could see my dad again and show him my family. My kids would have loved their grandpa.

    Little Freddy is five months old now, and moving and grabbing everything he can. He's a smiley little guy.
    I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

  • #2
    You are blessed, my friend.
    "Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
      You are blessed, my friend.
      Yes I am.

      Last night I was at the church youth group, like every Wednesday, and the message was given this week by one of the interns, a friend of mine. He was talking about Job and pain, and it was good, but to be honest...I didn't listen very well. Soon after he started I found myself remembering the summer my dad died, and that ended up being all I could think about for the rest of the night.

      Afterward, when I sat down to talk to some of the high school guys, I told them that and basically said, "Sorry guys, but I've really got nothing right now. Dave inadvertently ruined me for the night." We spent a few awkward minutes largely silent, then I prayed and we called it good.

      After that, I went to talk to Dave because I thought he'd like to know what happened. I told him about it and at that, I almost lost it and it was all I could do to say, "I've gotta get home now; see you next week." I'm not sure how many of the high schoolers saw me like that.

      Last night was just an unusually rough one for me.
      I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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      • #4
        It'll be 5 years ago on May 17th. Just some reminiscing thoughts....

        I had just gotten home from my junior year of college three days before. I hadn't spent much time with my dad, but we were on good terms. There was one big conversation we had to have, and it was about the girl I had met at college. We both knew we were going to have this conversation, it just hadn't happened yet. I was probably a day or two away from approaching him about it.

        I went to bed that night like normal. My mom woke me up at about 11 and said that Dad had been in an accident on his way home from work and she had to run to the hospital. She just wanted me to be awake and know about. I said ok, and got up to wait for them to get home. I prayed some, and just wasted some time on facebook. I knew he was going to be fine.

        It was probably about 2 in the morning when I saw the minivan roll up, and two people get out of it. My first thought was, oh good, they're home. Then I realized that the other person wasn't my dad--he was too short to be my dad. I recognized him as a man from our church, and this started to worry me. I got up to open the door before they got to it.

        I remember virtually nothing from that summer, but the next few minutes are the clearest memory that I have (in my whole life, I think). My mom walked in the door and said, "Wake up the kids, Adam."

        I said, "What happened?"

        She said, "He didn't make it. He's gone."

        I said, "What? No!" The inescapable sense of grief was just crushing. I remember very little after that point. We stayed up for the night, contacting the rest of my family. I went to bed at like 8 the next morning, after calling some good friends--I just needed to tell someone about it.

        My clearest memory from the memorial service is that I had put on a suit and greeted people as they arrived in the lobby. I never do that...but I did this time. I just felt like I had to be moving, and these people's presence here was meaningful to me.

        Edit: Never greet people in the lobby, that is. I'm no stranger to wearing suits, but greeting people like I did that day was very unusual for me.
        Last edited by Zymologist; 05-15-2015, 02:47 PM.
        I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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        • #5


          Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

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          • #6
            I was thinking about this the other day, and pulled up a local news article about the crash. It was a typical article about a fatality, but it was a strange experience reading such an ordinary article about something so life-changing.

            The sentencing for the woman who hit him was a year later (I think). We were all there, and any of us that wanted to had the opportunity to speak in front of the court. I decided that I didn't want to.

            But then, as one of my siblings--don't remember who--was up there, I decided last-minute that I did. So I told my mom, and she said I could go next. I don't remember if I knew at the time that this was televised, or just didn't care. I wasn't very nervous at all.

            I got up in front of the court, not really knowing what I was going to say. I made it short and sweet*, and basically talked about how my dad never got to see my graduation, he wouldn't be at my wedding (which was that summer), and he'd never even met her. I was crying, the defendant was crying, and probably people in the audience were too. I wasn't paying attention. I ended with a statement of how I forgave her, and then was done.

            The forgiveness wasn't something I had really thought about, though I think that was one of the things I had wanted to say beforehand. I had kept relatively well-informed about who had hit my dad, and the circumstances, but to be honest...I really didn't think about her. Like, ever, at all. She just wasn't in my mind. I never felt any anger toward her, or anything like that--I just missed my dad. So when I said, publicly in the courtroom and televised on the local news, that I forgave her, it had pretty much just come naturally. I really had.



            *I heard later that my testimony had apparently been very emotionally impactful for a lot of people. It's possible that this video is on the internet somewhere, but I don't know where. I don't think I'd want to see it if I could find it anyway.
            I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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            • #7
              How old was your Dad?


              Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by mossrose View Post
                How old was your Dad?
                He was 54.
                I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Zymologist View Post
                  He was 54.


                  So young......


                  Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

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                  • #10

                    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot


                    "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

                    My Personal Blog

                    My Novella blog (Current Novella Begins on 7/25/14)

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                    • #11
                      My mom sent me this song the other day. It was hard for me to listen to at first, but it's a great song.
                      I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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                      • #12
                        If it weren't for the Resurrection of Jesus, we'd all be in DEEP TROUBLE!

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                        • #13
                          I was thinking about my dad some yesterday, and I wanted to share one of the clearest memories that I have with him. I'm not sure why I remember this so well.

                          He and I had gone to Home Depot for some supplies, and we were in line to check out. While we waited, another employee walked past the checkout stand and said happy birthday to the cashier. My dad casually grabbed a candy bar before we got to the counter, and then paid for the stuff. After he got the receipt, he handed the candy bar to the cashier and said, "Happy birthday."

                          Just a small act of kindness that only I got to really see. One of the lessons he tried hardest in passing on to me and my siblings was to be thinking about others, and he modeled that.
                          I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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                          • #14
                            Beautiful story, Z.

                            3 For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures --1 Corinthians 15:3-4 (borrowed with gratitude from 37818's sig)

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                            • #15


                              He sounds like a wonderful man.

                              "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot


                              "Forgiveness is the way of love." Gary Chapman

                              My Personal Blog

                              My Novella blog (Current Novella Begins on 7/25/14)

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